Inconsolable
by Crystal Manning
Summary: It's hard to accept your future when your past continues to show up in your present. Mickey Mason is sent to Camp Green Lake on accident. They thought she was a boy and now, under the Warden's orders, she's stuck in the correctional facility forced to dig holes, keep her head down, keep quiet, and face a part of her past that she would rather bury alive.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

If someone wanted to play a game of 'I Spy' with Mickey, the game would end after two turns. The only thing that could be 'spied' was dirt, dirt, and more dirt. Dirt coated the windows, it trailed behind the bus in cloud form; even the road they were traversing was made of dirt. It was a boring sight to have to stare at for three hours.

Three hours on the way to Camp Green Lake, Some correctional facility deep in the heart of Texas. She had been facing jail time originally. She was prepared to get her fingerprints taken down and her number assigned. It couldn't have come at a better time that her court-assigned lawyer found out about an opening that was available at Camp Green Lake. It saved her from having to be put behind bars but then it robbed her of visitation from her family. If only they hadn't been so desperate.

Never has a double-edged sword hurt so much.

Sweat beaded on her forehead and rolled down her back. Whoever said sweating was the body's way of cooling down was a liar. She did not feel cool at all. She would've wiped the sweat away if her hands weren't handcuffed to the seat in front of her. She didn't expect to die so soon on her way to Hell.

Heck, Mickey Mason didn't expect to ever find herself going against the law either.

The bumpy ride finally came to an end as the stuffy bus pulled up next to a small, wooden office building. One sign on the wall read YOU ARE NOW ENTERING CAMP GREEN LAKE JUVENILE CORRECTIONAL FACILITY_. _She grimaced at the next sign that read: It is a violation of the Texas Penal Code to bring guns, explosives, weapons, drugs, or alcohol onto the premises. Despite the ominous signs she sighed in relief, finally able to pull her sweaty back off of the hot plastic bus seat. She rubbed her wrists once the handcuffs were removed, wiping the sweat rings off on her shirt. With shaky legs, she followed the guard off the bus and into the building.

A fan spun overhead but it didn't provide the break from the heat in the stuffy room as she had hoped. The humidity was enough to make her feel as if her throat was closing. But it seemed to work properly when she gulped at the mere sight of the scary looking man in the chair.

His already beady eyes narrowed as he peered at Mickey. His teeth gnawed on sunflower seeds. The chewing and popping between his teeth slowed as he got a good look at Mickey. She shifted beneath his gaze, her blue eyes dropping down to her scuffed up shoes. He was looking at her as if he had never seen a girl before.

That couldn't be good.

"What is this?" he demanded.

"New camper," the guard replied.

The man grunted. "This here's a girl," he stated. Mickey's head lifted at his statement. Something about the way he said that made her uneasy. "Aint no girls at Camp Green Lake."

That's why.

Mickey's ears perked up at this. "Wait," she said. Her voice sounded small in the room. "But this is a youth correctional facility. Right?"

"It's a juvenile detention facility for boys," the man said. "Yu aint no boy."

Mickey kept herself from making a snarky comment. The guy looked as if he could kill her with his pinkie finger alone. Her eyes shifted back and forth between the two men as they looked at one another. Finally the scary man picked up a walkie talkie and then muttered something into it. She didn't catch what he said.

"Sit down," he ordered. Mickey caught that. She dropped into the seat on the other side of the desk without hesitation. She messed with the hem of her t-shirt ad licked her dry lips. Only when the saliva dried up a second later did she regret it. Boy did she wish she had a glass of lemonade right now.

"Mickey Mason?" the man asked aloud, looking at a clipboard.

"Yeah," Mickey, squeaked, awkwardly raising her hand. Never in that moment had she seen a better placed 'Oh Crap' face. She would've laughed if the situation was funny. But it wasn't. The scary man and the guard whispered back and forth to one another. Mickey looked around the room to keep busy, especially so she wouldn't be accused of eavesdropping. She clutched her bag close to her chest and kicked her legs beneath the chair. Her feet barely touched the ground.

The silence that had filled the room was broken at the sound of a door creaking open. Mickey turned around in her seat and spied a short man with zinc oxide on his nose. He couldn't have been that much taller than her. He too one look at Mickey and then his expression matched the Scary Man's.

"Did you two rehears that?" Mickey tried to joke. No one laughed. "Okay then."

"Are you Mickey Mason?" Zinc-Oxide asked.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"You're not a boy."

"Yeah…I'd grow a Y Chromosome but I don't think that's possible."

"This s a boy's camp."

"I gathered that." Not like Mickey would go had she known that fact. Jail probably had AC. That had to be a plus side. Either way, there was a lot she needed to talk to that lawyer about.

Zinc-Oxide rounded the table and looked over the Scary Man's shoulder to see the clipboard. The two conversed for a moment. The Scary Man spat out his empty sunflower seed shells and stuffed another handful in his mouth. Zinc-Oxide motioned for Mickey to stand up and follow him, bidding someone named Mr. Sir a goodbye on the way out. Out into the depths of Hell.

"There seems to be a little mix up in our filing," Zinc-Oxide said. Despite being short as well his strides were still longer than Mickey's. She had to walk a little faster than her usual pace to keep up with him as they crossed the dusty compound. She spotted people in orange jumpsuits every now and then and they seemed to do a double take as she walked by. "We were expecting you to be a boy. Unisex names and all." Mickey wondered how her gender didn't appear on her file but she didn't ask. "We're asking the Warden how to handle things and get you back on your way. IN the mean time, I can get you some water. I bet you're thirsty."

"Yeah," Mickey rasped, her dry throat keeping her from whooping with joy at the very idea of water. Heaven in liquid form.

"It's right over here." He pointed and lead her over to what looked like was supposed to be showers. "My name's Mr. Pendanski. I want you to know that although you've made a bad decision it doesn't make you a bad person."

Mickey pressed her dry lips together. No, defending herself apparently made her a bad person. She removed her cap from her head and wiped sweat off her brown with the back of her hand. Her black hair, which was pulled back into a ponytail, swung free. A few seconds later wolf-whistles rang in the air. Mickey flinched at the noise. Mr. Pendanski ignored it. She stood by with her arms crossed as Pendanski filled a canteen and then held it out to her. She eagerly gobbled the water down as a voice cut through the thick air.

"Yo Mom! Is that a mirage standing next to you?"

Mickey stopped drinking in mid-gulp to see who was yelling. Three boys sauntered over to Pendanski, all covered in dirt. One's glasses were covered so much Mickey was surprised he could see.

"Now Rex, that's no way to speak to a girl," Pendanski replied, putting a hand on Mickey's shoulder. She shrugged out from underneath his arm, frowning. "There was a bit of a mistake and she'll be here until we can sort it out. For now, be the gentlemen that I know you can be." Pendanski turned his grin to Mickey. It made her frown deepen. "Boys this is Mickey. Mickey this is Rex, Jose, and Theodore." He pointed to each of them in turn.

"Naw, man, it's X-Ray. And that's Magnet and that's Armpit," the boy with glasses said, correcting names. "What are you doing here?" He lifted his chin in Mickey's direction.

"Lacking a dick, apparently," Mickey replied. Magnet cracked a smile. It made his already tired-looking face that more tired-looking. "So…" she looked around herself. "Where's the lake?" This time all three boys laughed. Mickey blinked in confusion, mentally slapping herself for the seemingly funny question. "Did I say something?"

"Pendanski!" The Scary Man, whom Mickey learned _was_ Mr. Sir when Pendanski addressed him, walked towards them, a bit bowlegged, his hand upon a holster that Mickey hadn't noticed before. Beneath the hot sun she blanched. "That was the Warden." Mr. Sir spat on the ground and wiped off his mouth. "Says to keep her here. Already takin' up a vacancy. Says it doesn't matter where she spends her sentence. 'Sides, bus won't return until another spot opens."

Mickey's eyes widened. Stay here? In a camp full of boys? Full of _criminal_ boys? Until who knows how long? She shook her head. She must have been hearing things. "You can't keep me here!" She squeaked in desperation.

"It's only temporary!" Pendanski said brightly. "Time will fly by! You won't even notice!"

Another round of whistles pierced the air as a few more dirty boys passed by them. Mickey's eyebrow popped up at the sound and she stared at Pendanski. Needless to say, she was sure she'd notice.

"Others might," Armpit noted as Magnet nodded his head in agreement.

"Don't worry, Mom, we'll be sure to keep an eye on her. As a favor to you, of course," X-Ray said with an easy smile. "Wouldn't want you getting' in trouble with the Warden. Win-win situation. We'll show her around. Watch her back and stuff."

"Right. Please do that while we sort this out," Pendanski said. But Mickey had a feeling all of the sorting out had been done already. Pendanski patted Mickey's shoulder. Her grip tightened on the canteen in her hands as he walked away. Leaving her with the dirty boys.

"Well, we can give you a tour," Magnet said. Mickey looked around them. Whatever tour he could give she guessed it would be short.

"Why are you so…dirty?" Mickey asked.

"They never told you?" X-Ray asked in response. She tilted her head in confusion. "Gotta dig holes here. Once a day. You get used to it."

Mickey made a face. They dig holes every day. What kind of correctional facility was this? She didn't dare ask the question aloud. They were juvenile delinquents after all. Well, she was one too but who knows why they were arrested? She didn't want to begin that train of thought. Instead she kept quiet while following the boys around. She learned early on in her life that it was better to keep quiet than to ask a bunch of questions.

The big tour went from the offices to the Mess Hall to the Wreck Room (was that a spelling error?), and then to the tents. X-Ray's, Armpit's, and Magnent's tent was D-Tent. A, B, C, and E were for other campers. F was for counselors. The lone house on the property was for the Warden.

"And this is the best tent in all of camp," X-Ray boasted as they stepped into D-Tent. It was as humid as the others. Three other boys lay on cots in the tent; one with wide eyes and crazy hair, one with curly brown hair, and one small boy. They were Zigzag, Stanley, and Zero. Mickey wondered if Stanley was his name or a nickname as the others seemed to have.

Their naming system was strange around Camp Green Lake. The whole day was strange. Even that Zigzag guy asking if she had seen any yellow-spotted lizards. She hadn't and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

"So you were sent here on accident?" Stanley asked, the only guy who actually talked to her rather than stare at her or openly ogle. He had arrived only two days ago. He was a newbie just like her.

Mickey nodded. "Somewhere along the way they lobbed off an X and gave me a Y," she replied. Stanley smiled. Saying it out loud still didn't make the situation any better. Besides te name, how was it possible for this all to go wrong? Don't they double check these things?

"How long are you here?"

Mickey didn't get a chance to reply as Magnet cut in with, "Hopefully forever. You're the best thing I've seen all day."

She tried to smile but it didn't go that far. She did her best to curl in on herself, make herself smaller. Maybe then they'd leave her alone and stop asking questions.

"Yeah, so, nice chattin' with ya. I'm gonna go find Pendanski," she said, jumping up from the end of Stanley's cot. Se had almost made it out of the tent when she walked smack dab into someone entering on the other side.

"Man, watch where I'm goin'!" the person grunted

"Sorry!" Mickey squeaked, flinching. "I didn't see…" her words trailed off and her eyebrows knitted together. "Wait…Alan!?"

"Who wants ta—" 'Alan' started but then he stopped once he took a look at Mickey. "_Mickey_!?"

"I take it you two know each other," X-Ray commented from behind them. As if that wasn't obvious.

"Unfortunately," Mickey growled, glaring at 'Alan'. He did the same and brushed past er, knocking his shoulder against hers on the way. The force made her take a couple of steps back to keep from falling over.

"Who sent you to check in on me?" 'Alan' demanded.

"Typical Alan, thinking the world revolves around him," Mickey muttered. "I'm not here for you."

"It's not Alan, it's Squid!" he said from what she guessed was his cot as he yanked a shirt on over his head. His orange jumpsuit was tied around his waist by the arms. Everyone else stayed quiet as they watched the two.

Mickey snorted at the ridiculous name. "Oh ho! That's even better! An animal that reflects your lack of a spine!"

"Wanna say that again?" Squid demanded. He crossed the short distance of the tent and grabbed her by her collar. "You'll be snacking on your teeth!"

"Whoa! Squid, easy man," X-Ray cried out, jumping up.

Mickey tried to pry his fingers off of her but they wouldn't budge. He was much stronger than she remembered. "Get your hands off me!" She hissed.

"Looks like you're all getting along," Pendanski said cheerfully as he entered the tent. Mickey turned her glare to him. Was he really that blind or did he choose not to see what was in front of his face?

Squid held his glare a little longer and then let her go. He wrenched his arm from X-Ray's grasp and sauntered back over to his cot.

"Here's the deal," Pendanski addressed Mickey, "The Warden has decided to make an exception and allow you to stay for as long as your sentence allows." He shoved orange jumpsuits, a pair of gloves, and a few towels in her arms. "You get two jumpsuits. One to work in, one to relax in. You're to dig a hole per day, five feet deep, five feet in diameter. Your shovel will be your measuring stick. You get shower tokens to wash up. There's only one temperature: cold." The longer Pendanski spoke the wider Mickey's eyes got. He couldn't be seriously. But, sadly, he was. "You were supposed to fill the vacancy in B-Tent but considering the circumstances and that you already have a buddy here"—Squid lifted his middle finger—"we can shift and have you in D-Tent." Pendanski put his hand on Mickey's shoulder again. Her lip twitched. "Now the Warden is concerned about this…predicament so you will be working in the kitchens part time to ensure your safety. You'll be preparing breakfast and dinner."

Mickey's internal screams of despair was interrupted by Alan's, no, _Squid's_ burst of laughter. "Good! Stick her where she belongs!" That got him a high five from Magnet. Mickey wanted to high five him in the face.

* * *

**_A/N:_** Recently I watched Holes and I read the book and the survival guide and _Small Steps_ again which brought me back to the Holes fandom after a few years to try my hand at writing Holes stories again. I had two up recently, _Squids Don't Cry_ and _Papercut Hell, _that I have decided to delete and try again later. I wanted to get this story out before I forgot my idea. I also have a Squid-centered story coming up soon about his time post-CGL. I was reading _Small Steps_ and I sat back and realized that, out of all of the guys in D-Tent, Squid is the one we know least about so I figured I'd give his story a shot. I'm writing this so it kind of reflects the narrative voice of Louis Sachar but with my own flair.

I have old Holes stories up on my profile (of which really make me cringe, to be honest), but I hope you all can see my improvement in writing over the years between now and then.

Please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy this story!

~C.M.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The last thing Mickey wanted to do was deal with the reminders of her life back at home. Yet there Alan was. Rather, there _Squid_ was, having to ruin it all. Why the hell he was named something as lame as Squid was beyond her. Of course it was better than Barf Bag. (She felt bad about that kid, despite not knowing who he was).

She knew seeing Alan again would be tough but this was worse than she ever imagined. How easy was it to come face-to-face with someone who used to be your best friend? Someone who was now a stranger? It sucked. Which made it easier to come to the solution that she would just pretend he didn't exist.

Instead she would focus on the piles of potatoes that she was assigned to prepare for dinner. She lost count of how many she peeled past fifteen. A few of them had gouge marks from her anger but those were salvageable. There were a handful of potatoes that were rotten beyond comprehension. She threw those away in disgust, only to be reprimanded by a guard for "wasting food".

If that was the 'food' they were supposed to eat the entire time they were incarcerated, Mickey wasn't so sure she _wanted_ to eat.

The rhythm she had built up while peeling the potatoes wavered as she glanced up to see one of the boys staring at her. Her eyes immediately dropped back down as she pulled the sharpened blade across the vegetable. A strip of the skin landed on the pile that steadily grew in the trashcan sitting between her knees. Despite the tingly, itchy feeling she was getting from the stares she kept her focus on the task at hand. Then she could get a shower in while the boys were eating and not worry about them taking a peek at her. She thanked God that she had brought her bathing suit with her, despite the fact that the place had no lake. (Why name it after something that wasn't there? It continued to baffle her.) But then again it was a good thing that it was named in such a way that she had one less thing to worry about.

Now all she had to focus on was not to be murdered in her sleep. Or worse.

Mickey paused in her peeling and tugged at the collar of the ill-fitting jumpsuit. She was swimming in the fabric. It hung loose on her thin frame and bunched up in unflattering places. Not that she particularly cared about her appearance, especially not now. But she did wish she had a jumpsuit that was less bulky. But she wasn't going to complain about that. That would be foolish on her part. She didn't want to give any of them any reason to point her out better than they could now.

She was sentenced for a year and she didn't want to start off on the wrong foot.

Lifting the heavy sleeve of her jumpsuit, she rubbed it across her forehead. Her nose wrinkled at the scratchy, porous fabric and, once again, brushed the sleeve back only for it to fall over her small hands. Huffing as quietly as possible, she lifted the sleeve again so she could go back to peeling the seemingly never ending mountain of potatoes.

"Finally!" Mickey exclaimed as she put the last potato into the metal pan a little while later. She tossed down the peeler and wiped her hands off on a nearby towel. She flexed her fingers and smiled at the satisfying crack and the release of pressure at the joints. "Now I can get a shower and—"

"Where do you think you're going?" the guard asked, stopping her quick escape.

"T-to the showers?" Mickey replied, her statement coming out more like a question. The stern expression on the guard's face didn't face. "…Sir?" she added, her voice rising in pitch as her shoulders lifted up to her ears. Still, the man's face never changed. "No?"

"If you think you're getting out of here due to some sort of special treatment—"

"_No!_ No, I'm not! I don't think I deserve any special treatment at all. No, in fact, I don't deserve any treatment at all. You-you can just leave me here to die I the sun. Wipe your hands of all of this. No one would be the wiser!" Mickey rattled off at the mouth. Her nervous energy made her speak quicker and her voice, if possible, get much higher than it was before. She only stopped talking when the guard cleared his throat and she clamped her lips together to keep the barrage of words from falling out.

"Nice try getting away," the guard commented. "But you're not done yet. Throw on some gloves and a hairnet."

Mickey blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what he was getting at. It finally clicked and her mouth dropped like a trapdoor. "You…you want me to _serve_ them too?"

"You're a quick one," the guard grunted. "Get to it!"

Mickey jumped at the forceful nature of his words and rushed to get the hairnet, gloves, and an apron that was laid out for her and the others that worked with her. She tucked her hair up into the net and then held the apron in front of her, trying to figure out how to put it on.

"Here, I can help," a voice said at the same time Mickey felt two large hands being to pull her jumpsuit off of her shoulders. She dropped the apron, reached back, and grabbed onto the wrists of the person behind her, digging her fingernails into the skin as her heart battered her chest.

"Get your hands off me," she hissed, doing her best to keep her voice from shaking.

"Relax," the boy said, lifting his fingers. "I'm not going to o anything. I just want to help."

"You can do that by not touching me."

"Alright, alright. But you have to give me my hands back."

Mickey slowly let go of the boy's hands and then whirled around. Of course it was the one that was staring at her that was now rubbing at his wrists, an amused sort of smile on his face. His eyebrows twitched and he snorted. "Remind me not to get on your bad side," he muttered. "All I was going to do was show you an easier way to deal with these jumpsuits."

"Well…do it from a distance!" Mickey ordered, looking him up and down as if she was expecting more hands to pop out from somewhere. He held up his hands, palms facing out, as if surrendering.

"Okay. See, all you do is slip your arms from the jumpsuit, roll down the back with the sleeves in your hand until it reaches about your lower back and then you tie it around the front," the boy said while demonstrating it.

Mickey's lips twitched. It would make things a little more bearable, not needing to wear the top part of the jumpsuit and it didn't seem to be against regulations. But then it put her on display, the last thing she wanted. She sighed. What would it be? Die of heat exhaustion or risk her modesty?

She wasn't a fool.

Mickey shrugged out of the jumpsuit and rolled down the back like she was taught. She pulled the sleeves tight and then tied them around her waist. It wasn't that much of a temperature difference between having the jumpsuit top up or down but she'd take all the difference she could get. She was sweating so much someone could probably mistake her for crying.

"Thanks," she muttered.

"No problem," he replied. "I'm Eagle. I'm in B-Tent, the one you were supposed to be assigned to." Mickey's eyebrow popped up at the name. "It's 'cause I came in wearing an American Eagle shirt."

"Ah," she muttered. "I'm Mickey."

"I would've guessed. Your voice got so high I think only dogs could hear it at one point."

"No…that's really my name. I was named after the baseball player. Mickey Mantle. My dad's a fan."

"That's enough bumping your gums," the guard barked. "Come on, get your things on, get the food, and get in your stations. Girlie, you're in charge of the beans. If I find a hair in it you'll be washing everything by hand. Understood?"

Mickey pressed her lips together to keep the sound of protest from leaving her mouth. Instead she nodded and hurried to put on her apron and her gloves. Her mother would have a cow if she could see her in an apron. Grunting softly, she managed to pick up the pot of beans and waddled over to the front of the Mess Hall. She managed to lift it up onto the small burner and turned it on, jumping at the loud _pop!_ that sounded before a flame appeared beneath it.

Crossing her arms, she leaned back against the table behind her and waited for the boys to trickle in. She wanted to get the stares over with. She was diluted into thinking that she was so drop-dead gorgeous that she would gain everyone's attention with a snap of her fingers but who knew how long it's been since they had seen a girl, assuming some of them weren't into the male persuasion? And who knew if some of them were brought along because of violence towards girls?

She licked her lips. There was no sense in thinking about that. She had to focus on getting her job done and finish her sentence so she could go back home.

Only seventeen months and twenty-nine days left.

The door to the Mess Hall burst open and in trickled the boys, laughing and joking around about something. Mickey kept a tight grip on her ladle just in case she would need to use it. Most of the guys gave her double takes, a few threw winks her way, and there were a few comments here and there but they left her alone for the most part. In fact it was smooth sailing until the D-Tent boys burst into the Mess Hall, talking about cavemen and Neanderthals or something.

"Well well, if it isn't our new tent mate," X-Ray said with a big smile as he slid his tray across the metal queue. "That hairnet looks good on you." Mickey dumped a ladle full of baked beans onto his tray and went for another spoonful as Armpit came by. He smiled at her and thankfully didn't make a crack about her predicament. Magnet was the same. Zigzag looked at her as if he was expecting to find razor blades in his food. Stanley, although looking worn out, managed a smile. Zero said nothing as he went by.

"Look at this!" Squid hooted, holding his toothpick around his finger and thumb and used it to gesture at Mickey. "Aint this the prettiest kitchen princess I ever did see." Mickey's eyebrow popped up, his thick accent making the word "prettiest" come out as "purtiest". "That hairnet is very becoming."

"This ladle is going to become a part of your anatomy soon if you don't shut up!" Mickey growled, her grip tightening on the metal utensil in her hand.

"Don't you have a cake to bake?" Squid asked, a smirk stretching across his face. "See, it's cooking _and_ serving all at once. You'll know your place soon enough."

Mickey tried counting to ten but her nerves were too far gone. She lifted the ladle over her head, trying to strike at him. He let go of his tray and lifted his arms, instantly going to protect his face. Al at once around them noise broke out. It was a bit disorienting. Mickey didn't even get a chance to bring the ladle down in full swing when the camper next to her grabbed her arm, warning her that it "wasn't worth it."

Mickey snorted. What else could they do to her? Give her more time?

"Is there a problem over here?" Mr. Pendanski asked, appearing out of nowhere. His voice was calm but his eyes were steely. He was a walking, talking contradiction.

Squid and Mickey regarded one another. His brown eyes were hard as he looked Mickey up and down, as if daring her to make a sound. Her eyes narrowed and she pressed her lips together. She was the first to tear her eyes away.

"No, Mr. Pendanski," she said the same time Squid muttered, "Nah, Mom."

"Good." An easygoing smile appeared on his face. He patted both of them on the shoulder. "Let's keep the line moving, Alan. No need to cause a traffic jam."

Squid tossed a glare Mickey's way. She held his gaze as she spooned up baked beans and tilted the ladle so it splattered against his tray. His lip twitched in the top corner and he replaced the toothpick in his mouth. He cut his eyes away and moved down the line. The rest of the dinner line was uneventful, thankfully. Maybe they weren't in the mood to deal with Pendanski or maybe they were too tired from digging to care that she was around. Either way she was happy to finally get the itchy net off of her head and the sweaty apron from around her waist.

Abandoning the pieces of fabric at the table behind her, Mickey made her way to the front door only to be blocked by yet _another_ guard who stated that no one was to leave dinner before the bell and, if she knew what was good for her, she'd get her ass in line and quit trying to get special treatment.

As if.

She grabbed a tray and slowly moved down the line, getting the food that she had to watch be prepared. The bread was the only thing she knew was good and she already had her sights (and her stomach) set on it.

She carefully carried her food over to her designated table, of which Magnet flagged her down to, and sat on the end. It was a peculiar set up: X-Ray sat at the head of the table, like a father figure of sorts for the rag-tag bunch. To his right sat Armpit, Squid, and Zero, his left sat Zigzag, Magnet, and Stanley. Mickey took the empty space by Zero for spacing reasons. She couldn't ask Stanley to shift and make room for her. He probably couldn't offer much space anyway, even if he tried.

Dinner went by as she tried to ignore the boys' random table talk it started out about sports and then it changed to guessing what Barf Bag was doing. Mickey forced down the limp green beans and the stale creamed corn that clumped together on the way down. She was in the middle of the baked beans when it happened.

Squid, spluttering, shoved his tray away from him. His fork and knife were stuck in a peeled potato, partially split. Mickey didn't have to see the inside to know how rotten it was. The darkened inside had begun to stretch on the outside, leaving a gray splotch on the otherwise white exterior.

"Aww, man, that's foul," Magnet commented, his face screwing up in disgust.

"Even I wouldn't eat that, dude," Armpit said, frowning at the ruined vegetable as if it had personally offended him.

"Man, those Lunch Ladies are askin' for it, I tell ya that," Squid fumed, yanking his fork out of his potato. It landed back on the tray with a heavy thud. Snorts traveled up and down the table as they ate their food. Zero, as usual, stayed silent.

Mickey reached for her piece of bread when a hand snatched out and grabbed it. "Hey!" she yelped in protest, trying in a futile attempt to get it back. Squid flung out his arm, keeping her hands away. Zero leaned back to avoid being hit by Squid's arm. Mickey could only watch in dismay as Squid ate her bread.

"You got a problem?" X-Ray asked, staring hard at her. The silence that had fallen around the table was thick and stifling but Mickey forced herself to keep breathing.

Yeah, she had problems. The jumpsuit was too big, she smelled like a gym sock, she hadn't showered all day, people wouldn't stop looking at her, Pendanski wouldn't stop touching her, she was sure her period was coming soon and she didn't have her supplies on her, and she was stuck having to see Alan's, no, Squid's _stupid face_ for the next year. But she wasn't stupid. She wasn't going to complain about that. No one would take her seriously. So, as usual, she kept her words quiet and short, "…No."

"Smart girl."

###

The water trickling over Mickey's head was much more soothing than she expected. She didn't have her shampoo to properly wash her hair but that was alright. She was in a rush. She was sure no one would be happy to know that she was using the water spigot of all things to get a shower in. but she wasn't going to risk peeping toms by standing under the showerhead. So, after dinner, she used water from the spigot and her towel to wash off the dirt, kind of like a sponge bath without the aid of a nurse and without taking off her clothes. It was a bit tricky but she managed.

Wringing out her damp hair, she trudged back to D-Tent. Even after the sun had gown down it was still warm out in the desert. It didn't take long for the beads of water that dripped down her body to dry up and for the wet patch on the back of her t-shirt to shrink.

Her arms were sore and stiff just from carrying pots and pans; she couldn't imagine having to dig on top of that tomorrow. She tried to push the harrowing thought out of her mind and focused on being able to sleep soon. She hadn't slept the day before her sentence and was almost running on empty. Even sitting down for a few minutes would be a reprieve.

She had one foot on the short set of stairs leading up to D-Tent when she heard a hissing sound. Her body immediately stiffened. Her eyes darted around to look for the snake. Her mouth fell open, ready to scream.

"Shush! Are you crazy?" Eagle hissed as she stepped out of the darkness. "Don't get your tent mates. I'm not exactly on good term with them. They'd kill me."

Mickey's muscles slowly eased and she put her leg down. Her heart beat hard against her chest as she regained her composure. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, jumping down.

"I saw what went down at dinner," he replied, digging into his pockets.

"Yeah, well, he had it coming."

"Not that." Eagle pulled his hands out of his pockets. Clutched in one palm was a piece of bread and in another a Twinkie. Mickey's eyes widened at the sight of the food. Eagle shrugged. "Being a Lunch Lady has its perks," he said, shoving the food into her hands. "You saw nothing. You know nothing. Wait until you're alone to eat this. Don't want anyone else lurking around."

Mickey nodded her head rapidly, shoving the food into her own pockets. "Thanks." Eagle nodded and slinked away. Mickey's mouth began to water at the idea of eating the sugary treat. She made sure to wipe her mouth before entering the tent.

"Thought you decided to move into the kitchen for a moment there," Magnet commented as she walked to the back of the tent and then sat down on the sleeping bag she was provided. There weren't enough cots to go around, Pendanski said, and they weren't going to move one from B-Tent over. There could be another vacancy, after all. But she doubted that. If there was another one she had a way to get back. "Took you that long to wash all the pots and pans?"

"Check her hands, bet they're all prune-y like raisins," Zigzag added from his cot. "Soft, delicate things."

"You won't last out there, diggin' holes with those."

"I give her an hour."

"Nah, won't even last then. Might break a nail," Squid added.

Mickey ignored the conversation going around her as best as she could. She couldn't deny that her jaw would ache later from how hard she was clenching her teeth. But she kept her head down and read the book she had grabbed from her crate. Well, it was actually a small cardboard box but she wasn't complaining. No one seemed to want to touch her stuff.

"Nah, I betcha she'll get it all done," X-Ray spoke up. Mickey looked up at him from beneath her bangs. The boys were looking at him as well. Even Zero. X-Ray smiled. "I bet she can handle it. She's small, yeah, but look at Zero? He's the first one done every time. She could be another Zero."

A chorus of "yeah right" and "naw, man" sounded as the boys waved him away. Stanley glanced over at Mickey. She shifted her shoulders in a slight shrug. A whistle sounded in the distance. The boys all got off their cots and headed towards the exit.

"Tent meeting, girl," X-Ray called over his shoulder.

"I'll be there in a second," Mickey replied, marking her page. The boys looked at her and she sighed while rolling her eyes. "I have to change! Get out!" They shook their heads and ambled away from the tent. She waited to hear their footsteps go away. They faded and melded in with the darkness outside of the tent. She reached into her pocket, pulled out the Twinkie, and took a large bite, smiling at the sweet taste that assaulted her tongue.

Never had a Twinkie tasted so good.

* * *

**A/N:** Well here's chapter two! I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks to _Fact_ for the review. Please read and review!

~C.M.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The water was refreshingly cool, a safe haven pumping in a stream to shield her from the heat. If only it didn't overpower her, if only it didn't drench her and turn against her, making her feel like she was drowning. Mickey's eyes flew open as she coughed and spluttered beneath the swift moving water that fell out of the faucet she lay under. Holding her hands up to block the water, it flew out on all sides. The dry dirt sucked up the water as soon as it landed.

Mickey managed to scramble to her feet, her sleeping bag wrapped around her legs. Once she managed to free herself she stumbled forward only to crash headfirst into the wall of the showers. Amongst the loud noise of boys' laughter she fell to the ground, holding onto her throbbing forehead.

"What the hell…" she mumbled, rolling onto her hands and knees.

"See? I told you she looked like a drowned rat," Squid's voice stuck out amongst the rest as the boys continued hooting with laughter over her expense.

She would have fought against that assessment if she didn't _feel_ like a drowned rat. Her waterlogged hair hung in her face and her shirt clung to her body like a second skin. She was glad that she wasn't wearing a white shirt or else she'd have a bunch of boys staring at her for a completely different reason than she wanted.

"Ah, man, that was perfect!" Magnet laughed, holding out his hand. Squid gleefully slapped his palm against Magnet's and they finished off their handshake with a snap of their fingers. Mickey's cheeks burned beneath the piercing eyes of the boys of D-Tent. She noticed none of them bothered to get her a towel or help her out. Not even Stanley who she thought was the nicest of the bunch, but maybe she was wrong.

Maybe she shouldn't have even begin to think that she could trust any of the boys or get along with them. Maybe she should just keep to herself like she had planned at the beginning. She didn't know how long she was going to be there. What was the point in befriending someone or trying to befriend someone when she could be leaving the next day?

They all looked out for themselves, it seems, she may as well do the same.

She was like that back at school as well. She got along with people for the most part but otherwise she was by herself. During lunch she would be sitting with others she called friends but she would listen more than she would speak. It didn't help that the topic of conversation was usually about which boy was the cutest, which was the hottest, which country club party was coming up, what pageant they were entering. Nothing that she had any sort of comment on.

And they knew it too. By the time the past summer came around she knew things had shifted. Alexis, whom she considered her best friend up until that point, had every excuse under the book to not want to come over and play in the pool or make homemade popsicles.

"I have to wash the dog" or "I need to watch Bailey" or "I can't, I already have plans. You know how it is" were her most common excuses. They would leave Mickey suspicious as much as she wanted to believe that Alexis was telling the truth. She never had a reason to lie to Mickey before. In fact, she had a horrible habit of not mincing her words. Everything about her was criticized from her hair style down to the shoes she wore. But Mickey took it all in stride because that was Alexis; that was what she liked about the girl. That she wasn't afraid to speak up and let people know what she was thinking.

The problem was she let people know what she was thinking. And the last time Mickey was around that was when Alexis was screaming at her and calling her a backstabber and a whore in the middle of Travis Reed's Summer Party.

The party that Mickey didn't even want to go to but she went to try and fix their friendship.

The party that cemented her fate and caused a permanent rift between herself and Alan.

The party that ruined everything.

Mickey squeezed out the hem of her shirt while glancing down at her now waterlogged sleeping bag as, one by one, the boys turned and left her in their wake. That was okay with her. The less people she had to interact with the better.

It'd help her forget that she had to share close quarters with Squid, as much as she possible could forget anyway.

* * *

The sound of the bugle came all too soon for Mickey. She wasn't sure if she had ever gotten back to sleep after the prank played on her or if she had just blocked out the passing hours from that point on. Either way her eyes burned and dread sat like lead in her legs, making her movements that morning very slow. And she hadn't even dug yet. Something that X-Ray and the others caught onto.

"Look at her, already actin' as if she feelin' the effects of diggin' a hole," X-Ray commented as he tugged on his gloves.

"Told ya she wouldn't last," Zigzag said, tugging his shirt down over his head. "She'll be lizard food for sure." He paused, his eyes widening, and then added in a bit of a whisper, "What if she's lizard bait? She could be luring them all here."

"Shut up, man, it's too early for this," Magnet mumbled in his half-asleep stupor.

"'Sides, even she can't lure in something like _lizards_," Squid added, continuing the unspoken agreement to talk about her instead of to her. "She's too ugly for that." Mickey sniffed and brushed her hand across her nose. The dirt burned in the back of her nose but she didn't have enough saliva yet to spit. Instead she imagined hocking a loogie at the back of his head.

After the horrible water prank she had to change into her second set of work clothes, which was a challenge in itself having to find a way to do it without dealing with a peeper. It was either dirty up her clothes faster than suggested or sleep in something that was going to cake on dirt and sweat. She may have to dress like a boy and do activities that the other boys did but that didn't mean she was going to roll around in dirt like one if she could help it. Apparently the other boys didn't agree.

She trudged behind the rest of D-Tent and joined the mass of other worn orange clad bodies that headed over to the shed marked LIBRARY. It was a cruel joke. Mickey was sure that they wouldn't trust them with a set of books, especially if the Wreck Room was of any indication of how they handled their privileges.

Mr. Sir stood by the Library, barking at them to wake up and to get their shovels while Dr. Pendanski was offering up smiles to the sleepy campers and pointing them towards breakfast for the day: honey tortillas. Mickey's heart sank when she saw the breakfast, the sudden realization that she should have been up to prepare it had slammed into her brain. Would she get in trouble for that? Get punished? Stoned? Thankfully her mind couldn't come up with something worse when Eagle walked by and muttered "Got you covered" and disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

She stopped in her tracks and stared at his back. This boy was going out of his way to make sure she was settled in and for what? What was he getting out of it? Or what did he want? She wasn't naïve. After one short day there she could tell people worked on a deal where favors were done only if the return value was stated upfront or worth equal value. X-Ray was the best example of that. So why was Eagle any different?

Shaking her head to dislodge the question, she tried to put her mind on the thought of needing to dig holes for the next however long it would take her to do it. The shovel was a little shorter than her and had a distinct weight to it. She bit down on her lip and sighed. The gravity of the situation fell onto her shoulders. This was _really_ happening. She was stuck in a camp where she had to dig holes in the hot sun.

"Open them eyes, girlie," Mr. Sir barked as she passed by him. "This aint the Girl Scouts."

* * *

They say that sweat was the human body's natural way of cooling itself down. The sweat dripping down her body didn't feel like it was cooling her down, it felt like it was trapping the heat against her skin due to the hot sun. Tying her hair back into a ponytail released the heat trapped on her neck but it only gave a momentary relief. The sun was merciless, it didn't matter who stood beneath it, and they were all feeling its wrath.

It was better when they began digging before the sun came up. But as the sun steadily rose the temperature soared. She wore her jumpsuit as long as she could possibly take it and by that point her modesty didn't matter any longer. They were all trapped in an inferno, hell on earth, and it didn't care who it took down with it.

Shoving the tip of her shovel through the Earth's crust was harder than she expected. She knew it was be a struggle but it barely made a scratch. She tried slamming the tip into the dirt, she tried scraping the tip in from side to side, she even tried jumping on it to get it in but her weight didn't add much to the tool. By the time she finally got her first clump of dirt out of the ground she was pouring with sweat and the other boys were guffawing at her attempts, save for Stanley and Zero.

By the time Pendanski came around with the water truck for lunch Stanley was a little less than half down with his hole, the other boys were on their way and Mickey had barely gotten a quarter of the way done. Her arms ached, her back ached, her palms had been rubbed raw, salty sweat ran into her eyes and her skin had already taken on a light red hue, the making of an awful sunburn.

"Come on." Mickey looks up right as the person's shadow blocked the sun. Turning around she squinted to see Stanley standing over her. "It's lunch time," he continued.

Nodding, Mickey dropped her shovel, thankful not to have to hold it any longer. She managed to lift her leg—boy was it heavy!—and prop it on the edge of her hole to step out of it. Her strides were long and slow, as if her very own muscles were revolting against her. By the time she got there an order had formed: X-Ray, Armpit, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, Zero, Stanley, and then herself. She brushed her arm across her forehead, collecting the sweat, and felt it smear across her skin.

"Find anymore fossils, Caveman?" Magnet called. Mickey wasn't sure who he was referring to for a moment but then figured it was Stanley when he lowered his head. That was the first she had heard of the nickname. "Seaweed this time?"

"Man, there aint no seaweed all the way out here," Armpit replied, accepting his lunch. "Sharks maybe."

"Sharks but no seaweed? You're crazy!"

"They wouldn't survive out here anyway. Water's too shallow," X-Ray explained, hovering by the truck door to wait for the others to catch up with him.

"Fish but no sharks?" Magnet demanded, sounding as if he didn't believe X-Ray.

"He's right, man," Squid replied. "It was a _lake_. Sharks can't live in lakes. No saltwater."

"_Squid _would know," X-Ray laughed, elbowing Squid in the side. He shoved X-Ray's arm away and rolled his eyes.

"How's your first hole, Mickey?" Dr. Pendanski asked with his usual shit-eating grin. She didn't even have enough energy to ask him to turn it down. She could only grunt a response and force her arm up to grab onto the bag he was holding out to her. "Well, I'm sure you'll get through it in no time. You can do it." He patted her arm and she winced. If he noticed he didn't let on that he did. He just flashed a thumbs up sign, climbed back into his truck, and drove onto the next location of holes.

Coughing as the cloud of dust enveloped her; Mickey walked back over to her hole and sat down next to it. She ate her sandwich first, despite it tasting like cardboard between bread. Then she moved onto her 'cookie', which was essentially a graham cracker but she didn't complain. She washed the dry snack down with her water, not wanting to touch her orange juice yet.

She was just about to take a bite of her apple when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw and arm reach out and take her carton of juice. Quick in a flash she was on her feet, grabbing onto the wrist of the thief.

"You gotta problem?" Squid asked, his voice dropping to a dangerously low level.

"Give that back!" Mickey snapped. Well, she thought she snapped. Her voice came out more as a squeak than the commanding tone she wanted to use. Either way she still didn't let go of his wrist.

His eyebrow lifted and then he laughed. He pushed her arm away, shaking his head, and started to walk back over to where his friends were waiting. She didn't know what possessed her to do it, the heat, being tired of being treated like shit, general frustration, whatever it was powered up her arm to throw her apple at the back of his head.

It hit him with a thunk and silenced all noise in the general vicinity. Mickey's jaw hurt from her clenched teeth. The pressure eased off when he turned around and she saw the look in his eye. She had seen it before. It had never been directed at her, it was directed towards others that had pissed him off and it scared her then. Now, though, it downright terrified her. But she wasn't going to let him push her around, not this time.

"You wanna apologize?" he asked.

"Nope," she replied.

He cracked his knuckles. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

He stepped closer. "Last try."

"Try this!"

Mickey managed to jump up and wrap her arm around his neck, squeezing the muscle to put as much pressure on him as possible. She had the advantage of a surprise attack for a few seconds until Squid easily broke out of her grip and tackled her to the ground. The blow combined with his weight atop of her made the air rush out of her all at once. She could hear shouting from the other boys but it sounded far away. She brought her hands up to try and block him but not being able to breathe properly slowed her movements. He overpowered her easily, pinning her body down by straddling her waist.

The barrage of fists hitting her face came next. The first blow made her see stars and pain throb by her eye. She tried to fend off the next one but her arms wouldn't lift off the ground. Another punch landed on her jaw. In her swimming haze she could see his fist drawing back again. She closed her eyes and waited for the blow but it never came. She blinked her eyes open and managed to see a red-faced Squid being pulled off her by Armpit and Zigzag.

"That's enough, man," X-Ray said, somewhere above them.

Groaning, Mickey managed to roll over and spit on the ground. A reddened blob stared back at her as she was finally able to pull air into her lungs. She coughed a couple of times and breathed back in. She slowly got to her feet, unaided by the others, and swayed on the spot but managed to stay on her feet. She turned around, took a swig of her water bottle and spat on the ground. The water stung where it met the split in her lip but she ignored it and forced herself to pick up her shovel.

No one else was going to dig her hole for her.

Every now and then she would glance over at Squid only to see that his head was kept down and he was shoveling as if the dirt beneath his shovel was her face. Maybe it could work for her. No one said a word as they all went back to digging. Slowly, but surely, they started to leave as their holes were completed. Zero first, then Armpit, followed by Magnet, X-Ray, Zigzag and Squid at the same time, and then Caveman. Mickey was still digging by the time started to set. Only when it was a pinkish-orange ball in the distance did she finally finish.

She used the shovel to give her leverage to get out of the hole, her arms and legs were useless by that point. Once she stood at level surface she stared off in the distance, taking in the sunset. Then she turned, and like the other boys, spat in her hole, grabbed her shovel, and began her long walk back to D-Tent.

By the time she reached the tent she almost ran right into Dr. Pendanski who came barging out of the tent, a flashlight in hand. Night had fallen and the stars came out fifteen minutes ago.

"Mickey! There are you are! We thought you were hurt!" he exclaimed, resembling a jack-o-lantern behind the light. At the sound of his shout some of the boys rushed to the opening. X-Ray's eyebrows lifted and Magnet whistled.

"Not all of us," Squid's grunt came from inside the tent.

"What happened to your face?" Dr. Pendanski asked.

Mickey rolled her head to the side as she thought. She wanted Squid to pay, she _really_ did. He got away with too much so far. But what would she gain from it? Having to watch over her shoulder to make sure he didn't jump her again? Granted, she did start the fight but still. She knew him. He would make sure he finished it, one way or the other.

Her eyes shifted over to Magnet who was miming something. Mickey's eyebrows lowered and she squinted slightly, trying to figure out what he was doing. He had his hand out, palm flat, and looked as if he was…pushing something?

"Uh…I…" Mickey stalled, glancing back and forth between Dr. Pendanski and Magnet. X-Ray grabbed onto the tent flap and shook it. Magnet pointed at it. "I…hit…"

Magnet threw his arms into the air and disappeared into the tent. A few seconds later he came back holding up a piece of paper. X-Ray jabbed his finger at the words written on it.

"I…walked into the tent door," she finally replied.

Dr. Pendanski stared at her for a few moments, blinking, and then patted her shoulder. "Okay then. Be more careful next time. Don't want that to happen again." He then descended the stairs and stepped into the darkness that surrounded the camp.

"Yeah, don't want that to happen again," she muttered under her breath.

Great, now she was at X-Ray's and Magnet's mercy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Mickey knew as soon as she woke up the next morning that the bruise around her eye was worse than she had imagined. The skin was still sensitive to the touch and it throbbed along with her pulse. Resting it on her scratchy, porous pillow probably didn't help matters. Whenever she blinked tears appeared in her eyes which had to trail down her face. Rubbing it away was not an option. Not if she wanted to risk getting sand or dirt or grit into the wound to make it _worse_.

So now she had to get up before the sun with an aching face, stiff, tense muscles, and a cloud looming over her head. She was in X-Ray's and Magnet's debt. Who knew what they would get her to do? They treated each other like friends but would look for any sort of benefit from friendships if they could get it. It was a dog-eat-dog world out there in the desert; she wasn't stupid enough not to believe that. Every man for himself and if she was going to survive however long she was going to be there she had to play by their rules.

Which was how she managed to get herself up before the others, put on her clothes (under her covers, she wasn't stupid enough to risk changing thinking that the boys were asleep), and begrudgingly head out to the Mess Hall to prepare breakfast for the rest of the camp.

She trudged up the stairs and flung open the door, rubbing the sleep out of the corner of her good eye. Her left eye had swollen to the point that half of her vision had been taken away but if she lifted her head she could see out of it. That's what she had to do while she tried to prepare breakfast that morning: toast and celery sticks with peanut butter. Not that great of a breakfast choice but it _was_ better than tortillas and honey.

"Good morning," Eagle chirped as he walked into the kitchen, carrying many loaves of bread in his arms. "Ooh, maybe not so good," he mumbled when Mickey threw a glare his way. Well, as good of a glare as she could muster with her bum eye. He set the bread down and peered at her. "What happened to your eye?"

"I fought a rattlesnake, what do you think happened to it?" Mickey snapped, brandishing the knife that was in her hand to spread peanut butter on the celery.

"Whoa, okay, no need to wave that around," Eagle said, holding up his hands. Mickey grunted and spread another slab of peanut butter onto the piece of celery in her hand. "What happened?"

"Oh, nothing, I just got attacked by a psycho," Mickey replied. She blinked in surprise at how easy and willing her words came out of her mouth. Like she was talking to an old friend…

"Psycho in C-Tent attacked you?"

Mickey looked up at him and then slowly shook his head. "I don't know why I'm surprised that there's someone here named Psycho," she muttered, picking up another piece of celery. She paused to yawn, her left eye stinging from the added tears. She let it trail down her cheek and clear the darkened skin before wiping it away. "But no."

"Someone in your tent?" Eagle pressed. "Zigzag, right? He's crazy, you know. Always staring at that TV when there's nothing on it. Talks to his shovel sometimes. Don't cross him."

"Good to know," she grumbled. And it was. She didn't know those boys from Adam. For all she knew she was stuck in a tent with a bunch of serial killers. And Pendanski and Mr. Sir were _fine_ with that. A lump formed in her throat, as if she had eaten a glob of peanut butter herself.

She was stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of juvenile delinquent boys who were there for god knows what reason. Some of them could have killed people. Some of them could have seriously y injured others. Some could be drug pushers, for all she knew! They could easily kill her and hide her body and no one would be of the wiser. No one would even care, aside from her family.

Not even Alan.

She froze at the intruding thought. After getting beaten up by him she had drawn a line. She would be on one side and he would be on the other and their paths wouldn't cross and they wouldn't meet. He didn't want her in his life anymore, why would she? If he could throw their years of history out the door, she could too.

Who cares that they had twelve years of history between them?

She remembered the day they first met like it had happened yesterday. Her mother had taken her to day care while she went to her job as a cashier at the local grocery store. Her father had already left early for his job as a truck driver. He was going to be gone for about a week. She couldn't wait for him to take her to the park.

She toddled over to a bucket of blocks in the classroom and dumped them out. She sorted them by color and then began to create a castle. She had the outline of her base constructed when a four-year-old boy walked over and looked at her structure.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his head tilting in curiosity.

"Making a castle," she replied, picking up another block and stacking it atop of the steadily growing structure.

"Can I play?"

"No, you'll do it wrong."

He huffed. "No I won't. I can help. See?" Stubbornly, he picked up a block and set it on the stack that Mickey had constructed. It wobbled and swayed until gravity took ahold of it and knocked it over. "Oops," he muttered.

"See!" Mickey huffed. "I told you. You ruined it."

"I can fix it," he grumbled, reaching down to pick up another block.

"No!" she stomped her foot. "You ruined it!" Picking up a block hear her she drew back her arm and hit him over the head with it. "You ruined it!"

"Ow! Stop it!" the boy yelled, covering his head with his hands. He grabbed a block and started hitting her back. She then abandoned her block and reached up, grabbing onto his hair. He then started biting her arm.

The two screaming toddlers were quickly pulled apart and brought to the front room to sit on chairs to wait as their mothers were called. They were told, under no circumstances, could they leave their seats. The only exception was if it was an emergency. Mickey sat with her arms crossed ad her lower lip sticking out in a pout while the boy sat back, tapping the front of his shoes together.

"You ruined my castle," Mickey grumbled.

"It was an ax-see-dent," the boy replied. "You built it wrong."

"No! You messed it up!"

"_You_ messed it up! It was stupid, anyway."

Mickey gasped. "It wasn't stupid! _You're_ stupid!"

"_You're_ stupid!"

"Mickey! Alan! That is not how we talk to each other around here," one daycare worker, Ms. Nelson, scolded them. She approached with a tray in each hand, both containing a box of juice, a sandwich cut into triangle halves and a fruit cup. "Now I want you two to sit here and eat your lunch while we wait to get in contacts with your moms."

The two kids balanced the trays on their laps and bit into their cheese sandwiches. They were quiet for a while as they ate until Alan finally spoke up. "Your name is Mickey?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"That's a dumb name."

"No it's not. Alan's a dumb name!'

"My mommy named me after my daddy!"

"Well _my_ mommy named me after the mouse! My name is better! Ha ha!"

Alan stuck his tongue out at her. "Nobody likes that dumb mouse," he said. "Power Rangers are better."

Mickey sat up straighter in her seat. "You like Power Rangers?" she asked.

"Yeah. I like the red one."

"Me too."

Their feud was quickly forgotten as they ranted and raved over their favorite power ranger and the monsters they fought. In fact the rest of their time at daycare consisted of them playing Power Rangers, Alan was the Red Ranger and Mickey was the Blue Ranger. Any time the two were in daycare they would immediately play but it was not always harmonious, they always had something to fight about be it someone not liking a rule or not liking the other's shirt or thinking that their idea for the game was dumb.

That evolved as the two grew up and began attending the same school. The more they argued the closer they became until there was no question about them being best friends. He was always over at her house after school to do homework and to play and he sought refuge there whenever he got into a fight with his mom.

Then their teen years came along and she found his arguments with his mother increasing as well as his bad behavior. He was rude and short-tempered and took to making fun of her shortcomings much more than she did before but she overlooked it because they were friends. She saw a side of Alan that no one else saw, one that made her want to hold him tight and help him along his way. He knew all her secrets and she his and nothing would ever change that. She was always there for him, getting him out of trouble and covering for him when the need arose. She was always there to help him out.

But the one time she needed the favor returned, the one time she needed him, he abandoned her.

And _he_ was going on like _she_ was in the wrong? It made her snort. It made her scoff. He had no reason to act like the victim, _she_ did. But because she was new to the camp, because she was the one out of her element and stuck in his realm, she had to live in their mixed up reality that the camp provided.

It wasn't fair.

"It, ah, it wasn't Zigzag," Mickey spoke up after a long stretch of silence. "It was Squid."

"Hmm, can't say I don't believe that. The guy's a bit high strung if you ask me."

_No kidding._ Mickey hid the smirk that started to appear on her face. If he knew all the shit that Alan had gotten himself into over the years, the reason behind his trigger-happy way of dealing with things around the camp it'd all make sense.

"What'd you do?" Eagle continued.

"Stand up for myself," Mickey replied, pausing to lick peanut butter off her thumb.

"Wow. That was risky."

"He should have seen it coming. He knows he can't just walk all over me and not expect a fight."

Eagle stopped what he was doing. "Are we talking about the same Squid."

"Unfortunately," Mickey replied. She sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. "We're friends. Well…used to be. We stopped being friends before he came here so…"

"Ah. That must have been weird. Seeing him again."

"No," Mickey said, her voice hardening. "it's exactly what I expcted."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Pain wasn't new to Mickey. Of course there was a difference between aching muscles due to hard labor and aching muscles due to a hard workout or from getting into a fight. And that was in a different category from emotionally inflicted pain, the sort of pain that dug in deep and held on with barbs. The kind that made you feel as if you were kicked in the gut by someone wearing steel-toed shoes. That kind she felt whenever she remembered her childhood with Alan or Squid or whatever the hell he was called now or heard him laugh or saw that particular smile when something made him giddy. Unfortunately that one only appeared at her expense nowadays.

He'd get a good laugh out of her today. The pain in her muscles had masked the pain that was nestled within the pit of her stomach which only meant she was going to have a horrible next few days. It wasn't every day that someone got their time of month while in a hot desert having to dig all day with no private bathroom nearby.

She grimaced as she followed the mass of boys towards the shed marked 'Library'. It still made her heart sink to know that behind the doors were shovels and not an actual library. She had brought a couple of books with her but then she could only read them so many times before getting bored with it, even if it was _Harry Potter_. She expected some to be in the Wreck Room when she first spied it but then thought better about it. Even if there were books there she doubted they'd be in any sort of decent condition if the TV and pool table were anything to go by. Seemed they provided enough to keep the 'campers' from going completely crazy rather than giving them something to bide their time and stimulate them.

When Mickey finally got a shovel she barely had any strength to keep it off the ground. It wavered in her arms, the balance unsettling her momentarily. She barely slept, her muscles throbbed, and it felt as if a squirrel was trying to claw its way out of her. But she didn't complain. She kept her mouth shut, grabbed her peanut butter covered celery and peanut butter covered bread—breakfast if it could be called that—and merged with the masses out to the lake.

The sun hadn't risen yet, it was a faint line of pink off in the distance of an inky blue that blanketed the sky. Any remaining stars that twinkled above their heads slowly faded as they walked out across the dry wasteland. Dust kicked up around their feet as their heavy boots clomped against the cracked dirt. Mr. Sir led each group to different parts of the lake, starting with A-Tent. They walked far enough away that the sounds of their shovels hitting the dirt was faint, almost as if they were imagining the noise. The same process was followed as Mr. Sir pointed out where B and C Tent were going to dig.

Then D Tent was told where to dig. Mr. Sir marked the ground with the heel of his boot for each camper, giving them roughly enough space between holes per person so as not to end up have a cave in. With how anal the boys seemed to be about where their dirt landed she couldn't even imagine how they'd react if their holes were too close. They'd probably lose their minds, not that she could exactly blame them. Being out there in the desert digging one hole day after day in the hot sun was enough to drive any sane person crazy.

Mickey pressed the tip of her shovel against the X that Mr. Sir had marked out for her and stared at it. She knew the only way she could get the tip into the ground would be to jump on it with all her might but she was just too tired. The other boys had it easy. Stanley, no, _Caveman_ and Armpit could use their weight to help them out. Zigzag, Magnet, and Squid, judging by their forms, could use their muscles to help them out easily. X-Ray and Zero on the other hand, they were small and on the thin side. How they managed to get their shovels into the thick crust of the surface was beyond her.

She gripped the smooth shaft of the shovel between her aching palms. They throbbed in time with her heart beat and, for a moment, she stood and felt the pulse in her palms and listened to the oddly rhythmic sounds of her "tentmates'" shovel scoops and dirt tosses. But then she broke herself out of her trance because, well, no one else was going to dig her hole for her and if she didn't start she'd be out all day.

It was slow going. She finally managed to pry up a piece of dirt to get her hole started and from there it wasn't a smooth operation. Every time she went to scoop up more dirt, bolts of pain shot through her lower back. The air warmed up fast as time wore on and made it difficult to breathe. Like bags were being held over their heads and they were slowly suffocating.

Sweat dripped off Mickey's dirty face and landed on the water-starved ground. The cracked lake-bed swallowed the salty drips as soon as it connected with the dirt. Just seeing it made her want to go for her water but she knew if she even got a drop on her tongue half of that canteen would be empty and she didn't know when someone would come by with the water truck.

The sleepy haze that had settled over the group lifted along with the rising sun and soon the boys were talking and joking around as if they were standing by a water cooler or in a locker room. They spoke as if she weren't around, which part of her appreciated but part of her wished they would censor themselves a little bit.

"I'm tellin' ya, man, there's nothin' like some sweet lovin' that a girl can give you," Zigzag commented as he rest against the side of his hole.

"Kisses from your grandma don't count," Magnet pointed out, earning howls of laughter from the others save for Caveman and Zero. Those two were the only ones who continued to dig aside from Mickey. Zero liked to get in and get out whereas Caveman needed to keep digging. Being the slowest digger any breaks would only put him further back. Mickey was only trying to push through her pain, knowing that if she stopped it would be hard for her to keep going. But she did glance at them every now and then and listened in on their conversation. After all, it wasn't like she could be called out on eavesdropping since they weren't too far apart from one another.

"Yeah, dawg, what you know about sweet lovin' anyway?" Armpit asked.

"I know enough," Zigzag replied. He ran a hand through his crazy hair but it only made it stick out more than it had before. It was almost as if there was electricity in the air keeping up the shape. "Man, I can't wait to get out of here. Gonna hang out with babes and…bathe in ice cream."

"Ice cream?" Squid repeated. He jammed the tip of his shovel into the dirt and rest his arm on the shaft. "You'd rather bathe in ice cream than water?"

"Well, yeah, bathing in water doesn't make sense," Zigzag replied as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. He got blank stares in return. "See, with water I'd be going from warm to cold. But, with ice cream, I'd be going from cold to warm. Get it?"

"…You made more sense when you were talking about chicks."

"Aint that the truth," Magnet laughed. His laughter turned into a wistful sort of sigh and the boys fell silence until he broke it again. "You have girls at home?"

"Can't be that hard to find one now. Aren't girls into bad boys?" X-Ray asked with a large smile. "'Ey, you can vouch for us can't you?" he asked, directing his question over at Mickey. She paused—which was a bad idea on her part for she could feel the pain that she managed to ignore pool into her muscles. She pressed her lips together to keep from grimacing and felt herself getting hot under the collar, and it had nothing to do with the sun. "Aint it true girls like bad boys?"

Mickey blinked. She ran her tongue over her cracked, dry lips and felt the sting from the sudden moisture added to them. Her fingers drummed against the shaft of her shovel. It was such a simple question and yet it landed on Mickey's chest like a brick.

_Aint it true girls like bad boys?..._

The clock hands barely brushed past midnight when Alan came through Mickey's bedroom window. She expected it, waited for it even. It was the only way they could talk if the two were ever up late at night. He still wouldn't let her come over to his house no matter how much she asked. Mickey sat up in bed and reached over to flick on the light. The warm, golden glow seeped out of the lampshade and illuminated the curled-up boy on the floor.

"What are you doing down there?" she asked, kicking back her covers.

"I fell down," Alan replied. A second later his shoulders shook as he laughed. "I'm Humpty Dumpty! I fell off the wall and I'm cracked!" He held onto his sides and rolled to and fro. His eyes crinkled in the corners from mirth and redness settled in his cheeks.

"_Shush! _My mom and dad will hear you!" Mickey hissed, rushing to his side. He didn't seem to hear her as he continued laughing. She grabbed onto his arm and tried to pull him up but he was dead weight. "What have you been eating, bricks?"

"Pizza," Alan managed to reply though his laughter. Half his body lifted off the ground when Mickey pulled at him but he was dead weight. "A lot of pizza. With fish and olives. It was gross. Like that face." He reached out and poked Mickey's cheek, digging his finger into the skin. She could feel it poking between her teeth. She had to resist the urge to bite him.

"Come on, get up," Mickey urged. She dropped his arm and grasped his hands instead. Thankfully he grasped her hands in return and allowed him her to pull him up into a sitting position. But his head lolled around on his shoulders and his half-lidded gaze didn't fix on anything in particular. "You've been drinking again," she stated. It was a bit of a redundant, she knew, but she didn't have anything else she could say about it. They've been having the same conversation for three years.

"Just a little," he replied, holding up his finger and thumb. "Mom's getting' bad at hidin' the liquor." He laughed again. "If it's not in her stomach it's in mine! How's _that_ for being a role model?" His smile slowly faded and his features fell. He sighed heavily and Mickey's nose wrinkled at the strong scent of alcohol that wafted past it. "She sucks," he grumbled. "I hate her."

"No you don't," Mickey grunted. She finally managed to pull him to his feet and then grabbed him around the waist to keep him from falling over. He swung an arm around her shoulder and let her walk him over to her bed where he collapsed on his side. "She's sick. You can't hate her for that."

"She sucks," he repeated. "She's mean when she drinks." He grabbed her pillow and tucked it beneath his head. "She likes drinking so much. I don't get why." He paused. "She loves the bottle more than me. She's…she's never said it." His eyebrows furrowed as if he were confused by something but his words were clear. "She never said she loves me."

"She does," Mickey stated, lying down next to him. "You don't always have to say it. I love your ass despite how annoying you are and how much trouble you get into." She poked his cheek. "I let you crawl in through my window like some burglar, don't I?"

Alan frowned. "I'd never steal from you. I don't steal. I told you that."

Mickey sighed. "I know, but your friends—" Her words trailed off at the glare he, well, tried to shoot at her. It was no secret that a rash of thefts was going around the neighborhood and it was no secret that it was Alan's friends that were behind it all. Twenty-year-old loser dropouts. She still didn't know what they wanted with someone in their mid-teens but somehow Alan rolled around with their crew like it was no big deal.

"I _don't_," he stressed.

"Okay. I believe you," Mickey replied.

"Good." He rubbed at his eye with the heel of his palm. "You're my best friend. I don't…I don't want you being mad at me. I wouldn't lie to you, Diz." He shifted until he was curled up in his side, his head resting on her stomach. "I don't need anyone else. I don't need my fucking mom or my fucking dad. I just need you." She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, gently tugging on the strands. "Can I stay here?"

"Until the sun comes up. Like always," Mickey replied. "Dad doesn't want boys in my room. Even if it's you."

Alan didn't respond. The alcohol running though his bloodstream put him into a fast, deep sleep. She didn't mind his snoring. She didn't mind his muttering in his sleep. She didn't even mind when he woke up just to puke on her lap and then pass out again. She rolled out of bed, changed clothes, threw them into the washing machine and climbed back into bed. As soon as she laid back down Alan rolled over and wrapped his arms around her waist. She held him close and nuzzled her nose into his hair. It smelled of cigarettes and honey.

_Aint it true girls like bad boys?..._

She gave her head a shake, erasing the invading memories that attacked her heart. The lump in her throat broke when she swallowed—as much as she could little to no saliva—and she blew a breath out of the side of her mouth.

"Maybe," she finally admitted, "but that's before we realize they're lost causes and we can't fix them if they don't want to be fixed." She dared to risk a glance at Squid. He held her gaze and silently rolled his toothpick or whatever it was he was chewing on from one side of his mouth to the other.

"Well, I want to be fixed," Magnet spoke up, wiggling his eyebrows. "Kisses always work, right? Hey girlie, come give me a kiss!" He leaned against his shovel and made a show of puckering his lips.

Everyone stopped what they were doing that time. Mickey looked over at Squid again. He yanked his shovel out of the dirt and stabbed the ground with it.

It may as well have been her face.

She grasped her shovel and sliced into the dirt with it. One by one the other boys went back to digging their holes and they fell into silence. She tried to ignore the growing pain deep within her but it got stronger the longer the day went on. On top of that she had to continually duck into her hole and check whether it was sweat or something else that was sliding down her leg.

She nearly fell down to her knees when the water truck came around. It didn't feel like the end was in sight. She was digging herself a one way ticket to Hell. Her legs felt like they were stuck in mud as she trudged her way to the line that was forming at the back of the water truck. It was X-Ray, Armpit, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, Zero, Caveman, and then herself. Never in her life has she appreciated being short until now. Caveman was blocking the sun out for her so she had a little bit of relief. Not a lot but a little.

"How're you feeling, Mickey?" Pendanski asked as he filled her canteen.

_Was that a trick question_? Her eyebrows crinkled and she cleared her throat as best as she could to answer him. "Hot," she finally replied, her voice raspy.

"Yes, well, you get used to that." He shut off the water and replaced the cap on her canteen and held it back to her. The smile on his face never faded as he watched her gulp down her water. "But, um, how are you _really_ feeling?" he continued, rocking back and forth on his feet.

Mickey's eyebrow popped up as she slowly lowered her canteen, swallowing the last bit of water that was in her mouth. "Um…sweaty?" she finally replied.

"Sweaty. Good. Okay." Pendanski nodded his head rapidly so much that he appeared to resemble a bobble-head. "It's just… The Warden… understands your predicament, being a girl here. A _woman_. And The Warden wanted to make sure you were a bit more…comfortable. Yeah. So…here." He practically shoved the brightly colored packages he held behind his back into her hands and scampered away. Jumping into the truck, he floored the pedal and sped off, leaving her in a cloud of dust.

Coughing, she stumbled her way back to her hole and dropped in. Crouching down, she looked between the two packages to decide which product to use. Once the choice was made, she put it on as discreetly as possible and then reached out of her hole to grab her canteen. She popped two painkillers into her mouth and downed them with water, praying that they would work fast.

She didn't know how much time passed until a shadow fell over her hole. She sighed and squared her shoulders, ready for some sort of verbal onslaught when she turned around. Her body jolted at the sight of X-Ray standing above her. He wasn't that much bigger than her if they were standing side by side but he still felt massive to her.

"Hey," he greeted her with an easy going smile.

"Er…hi?" she replied. Before she could stop herself, her arm lifted and waved in his direction. Only her body wasn't quite working with her so her arm flopped like a fish on land.

"So I see you got something to help out your little problem," he continued, lifting his chin in the direction of the cast-aside pill bottle. Mickey looked between the bottle to X-Ray. "If you recall Magnet and I covered you the other day. It's only fair that we get a bit of a reward, right?" Her eyes shifted from the bottle to his face back to the bottle and back to his face. He smiled an easy-going smile. "It won't cost much. Just a few of those pills is all."

Mickey bit her lip. "I don't know…"

"You don't need it all the time," X-Ray pointed out. "It doesn't last that long, right? Four-five days max? You can't use that entire bottle in a week. No one will know." Mickey wanted to know how he knew anything about a female's cycle but she didn't ask. She didn't want to know _that_ badly. She'd be scarred. "So? What d'you say?"

Mickey's shoulders sagged. Nothing good could come from giving a _juvenile delinquent_ pills but…she didn't exactly want to make enemies at the camp either. Even if she weren't there that much longer she wasn't stupid enough to think that getting by alone would be the best way to go. But what kind of debt would this put her in now?

"…Okay," she said quietly. She grabbed the bottle as best as he could—blisters dotted her hands—and removed the top. She poured a couple of pills into his palm and shoved the bottle into the large front pocket of her jumpsuit.

"Good decision," X-Ray said with a large smile.

**_# # #_**

She hadn't been so happy to see her thin sleeping bag until that moment. She flopped onto the floor and let out a long breath. Rolling down the top to her jumpsuit she laid her hands on her stomach and pressed into her skin, rubbing away the ache that lurked beneath the surface. Her skin was still warm to the touch from the hot sun she stood beneath all day despite getting a shower in. Her face was flushed and she swore she was beginning to get a sunburn and she knew she had to get up to prepare dinner soon but she wasn't in a rush to get there.

The other boys of D-Tent had finished long before her and were spending time in the Wreck Room. She was still avoiding it, not wanting attention from all the other boys there. She got plenty of wolf whistles and catcalls and comments when she was half awake, it could only be worse when she was fully awake.

She paused her rubbing when she heard the distinct sound of the tent flap opening. She sat up to be greeted to the sight of Caveman pulling his hat off his head. "Oh, sorry," he muttered once he noticed her. "Sorry, I didn't see you there. I'll go."

"No, it's okay," Mickey said, waving her hand to brush away his words. "It's more your tent than mine anyway." She forced herself to get to her feet despite her muscles screaming in pain. She reached across her front and rubbed at her neck as she walked towards the front of the tent only to pause by Caveman's bed. "Are you okay?" she asked, studying his face.

He turned his half-lidded gaze to her. "Yeah, 'm fine. Just hot," he replied.

She clicked her tongue. They were all hot but they didn't look as if their faces were melting like his was. Turning on her heel, she walked over to her crate where her canteen, rucksack, and sketchbook were contained. Yanking on the drawstring of her bag she pulled out a small cloth. Removing the cap to her canteen, she poured the water over the cloth and then wrung out the excess. She didn't have to worry about wasting it with the water spigot on the shower wall.

"Lie down," she instructed him. He looked back at her before doing as he was told. He lay down on his cot and she couldn't help but notice how it groaned beneath his weight. Once he was down she dabbed the wet cloth along his cheeks to even out cooling down his skin. She had laid the cloth down on his forehead when the boys of D-Tent trooped in.

"Oh ho ho! Look at this! Caveman got himself a nurse!" X-Ray commented. "Wish we all had nurses to take care of us. Don't you?"

"Yeah. A hot nurse to give u sponge baths," Zigzag agreed.

"They'd need to use industrial scrubbers to deal with your stink," Magnet laughed, holding his nose. Zigzag held his middle finger up in Magnet's direction. "Do we get wet cloths too?" he directed towards Mickey. "Squid, she's your friend. Maybe you can—"

"She aint my friend," Squid interrupted him, yanking his hat off his head which was then followed by the t-shirt he had tied around it to keep the sun off his neck. His words were filled with so much venom it actually made her take a step back. He only talked like that when he spoke of his mother. They were on the same plane now?

She pressed her lips together. It was amazing how much damage a friendship could suffer from in one night. If that was the way he wanted to be, fine. She could go on like he didn't exist. It couldn't be that hard. Before she turned away she caught sight of the simple brown, thin macramé bracelets tied around his wrist. She remembered making them for him months before their fallout.

She frowned. Maybe it would be bit harder than she thought.

* * *

_**a/n**_ \- I apologize for how long it took me to update this story. Between having two jobs, I hardly have time to rest and relax let alone finding time to write in a timely manner now. However I have been watching the movie and reading the books nonstop recently so expect more updates due to inspiration. Also, was the flashback made clear to you guys or should I mark it? Please read and review! Thanks for being patient with me. Mickey's nickname will be revealed soon! Can you guess what it will be?


	6. Chapter 6

_**a/n** \- Well, here's the next one! I hope you guys like it! Thanks for the favs and alerts and reviews. Please read and review!_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Her muscles screamed in pain so she had to drop down in the chair that had been set up in the now empty Dining Hall. Why Pendanski insisted on having their tent meeting in there, she didn't know but it wasn't as hot as the tent so she didn't complain. She brushed the back of her hand across her forehead and shifted in her seat, anything she could do to make herself feel comfortable while she waited for the painkiller to kick in. it was the second one she took today and just seeing the small while pill made her get whacked by another wave of guilt.

Maybe it was a bad idea to give X-Ray the pills. But how else was she supposed to be sure that she would make it out of there alive? Besides dying of heatstroke or dehydration or being bitten by some lizard and by malnutrition. Hell, she was surprised to know she lasted as long as she did now. Sure, it was only a couple of days but that was a couple of days longer than she—and everyone else, she guessed—expected her to last.

She took a swig from her canteen and curled up on her chair as best as she could to avoid the boys. Which was hard when she had to sit in a circle with them but she was feeling bloated, her lower back hurt—more than usual anyway—and her head was pounding. The last thing she wanted was to smell them, have to talk to them, and have to _deal_ with them any longer than she already did. And yet, here she was. Thankfully Stanley took the empty seat next to her. It would save her from a night of harassment.

"It's great to see you, boys!" Pendanski greeted them all as he entered the room. He got blank, tired stares in return. That didn't seem to deter him or make his smile falter. It was almost as if he didn't notice he didn't get a reply. He sat down in his chair, closing out the circle and sighed. "Well, who wants to start today? We can talk about anything you want."

Mickey gulped. She didn't have to look up to know that some of them were looking in her direction. She could feel their gazes swivel in her direction. The hair on her neck and arms stood up and a ball of dread rolled around in the pit of her stomach. Nothing good could come from the meeting.

"I have an idea, Mom," X-Ray spoke up. She could hear the smile in his voice. "Let's talk about Squid." _Wait, what_? Her eyebrows crinkled and she looked up at him. As she suspected he had the largest, shit-eating grin on his face that she had ever seen in her entire life and he was patting Squid on the back who looked as if he had eaten a lemon. "We don't know that much about him. And he's my tentmate. He's my bro. And we need to trust each other, right? Well, how can you trust someone you don't know that well?"

"X has a point," Magnet spoke up, ignoring the middle finger that Squid had extended in his direction. "We've never talked about him like we talked about the rest of us. It's only fair."

"And now we can talk about him, with our expert here," X-Ray continued, now smiling over at Mickey. She wished she could shrink even more in her seat but she was already small enough. Anymore and she'd disappear completely. "Mom, these two have known each other since they were kids," he continued, pointing between Mickey and Squid who looked anywhere but at each other. "Isn't that fascinating?"

"Really now!" Pendanski said, rubbing his chin. The gap between his two large front teeth was now on full display. "What a coincidence!"

"Yeah! Mickey, tell us what Squidly was like as a kid," X-Ray said, ruffling Squid's hair. Squid shoved him away and rolled the toothpick between his teeth from one side of his mouth to the other. His hard gaze stayed on Mickey, watching her; waiting.

"Who gives a fuck about that?" Zigzag spoke up, turning his smile to Mickey's direction. "I want to hear about her."

"Yeah, if you can get her to talk," Armpit commented. "She's so quiet!"

"And then she squeaks. Like a little mouse!"

Mickey's cheeks burned. Well as much as they could with the beginning stages of sunburn forming on her face. She tugged at a loose thread on her thick socks and spun it around her finger, watching the tip slowly change to a bright red and then a light purple the longer she held it. It pulsated in time with her heartbeat. Maybe if she ignored them long enough they'd leave her alone.

"Aww, the mouse is shy!"

"Nothing to squeak about, Mickey?"

"Hey, layoff," Stanley spoke up, cutting the ribbing short. "If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk."

"First Zero, and now her," Magnet sneered. "I'm beginning to get a bit insulted, guys."

"Yeah! What does he have that we don't have?" Armpit asked.

"Is it because he's nice? We can be nice, too," X-Ray said. He feigned spitting into his palms and smoothing down his hair. He smoothed out the wrinkles on his jumpsuit, patted away some of the dirt, and leaned forward with a charming smile. "How are you doing on this fine day?" The snorting laughter from the other boys—save for Zero and Stanley—stopped him from being able to hold up his act for long.

"C'mon, boys, be nice," Pendanski said. "She's one of us, now. Well, for as long as she's here. Let's try to make her feel comfortable." He patted Mickey's knee.

The thread around Mickey's finger broke.

She dropped her leg, removing her leg from beneath his hand although she could still feel his fingers tapping against the bone. "Alan liked to push boundaries when we were kids," Mickey spoke up, looking up from her shoe. Her voice trembled slightly as nerves jumped around in her stomach but she continued on. "But it was only to test how far he could go before someone stopped him. Because people hardly did. He didn't have malicious intent in it. Unsurprisingly, this made him a bit of a trouble maker in school. But as much as he got in trouble, he was also the most loyal person you could ever meet. He always stood up for his friends."

A sad sort of smile formed on her face. "It's why we were friends from the get go, he'd stop people from making fun of me because I was small as a kid. He liked being known as tough. He never cried, never let anyone in on what was bothering him, he kept his wall between himself and anything that could bring him down. As much as the wall kept things in, it kept things out too. I could tell we were drifting as we got older. We'd still do homework together or hang out if he wasn't busy with his friends or I wasn't busy with mine. We travelled in different circles but I always made time for him. And then…things changed. He got arrested…and now you know Squid." She cleared her throat. "Squid, I know nothing about. I don't know him at all. He's a mystery. I just know Alan…and Alan's long gone."

She unraveled the strong from her finger and fluttered them to let it fall to the floor. Her nose wrinkled slightly at the silence that followed. _So that's how to get them to shut up_. Too bad she didn't have dirt on anyone else; that would be enough to get them quiet for a few more days. She could just keep it in her pocket and use it whenever she wanted. Though she knew she'd abuse the hell out of it.

"Well, what was she like, Squid?" Magnet asked, pressing his elbow into Squid's side. She looked over at him, curious to hear what he had to say. He stared back at her, his arms crossed tight over his chest, his toothpick clenched tight between his teeth. She saw a muscle jump in his jaw.

"Don't leave us hangin', dawg," X-Ray added.

Squid sucked in a breath. It sounded almost like a vacuum in the silent room. He let it all out at once and tapped a boot covered foot on the ground. "She was quiet and timid and tended to follow people around. If anyone challenges her she would shrink away but in certain situations she would stand her ground when needed." He then scoffed and added as an afterthought, "Too bad her need for popularity got in the way."

Biting on her lip didn't stop the words from bursting from her. "Oh, you're way off!" she declared.

He scoffed. "Yeah, that's why you dumped me at that party to go with my boys."

She sat up straighter in her chair. "I was at that stupid party in the first place because I was looking for _you_."

"Well you found someone else. Congratu-_fucking_-lations." He spat in her direction. It landed on the floor between her feet. He ignored the admonishing that Pendanski shot his way about keeping their buildings clean. "You're just like everyone else."

"That is _not_ my fault!"

"Bullshit!"

"Fuck you!"

She jumped up from her seat so quickly that it toppled backwards with a loud _clang_, making the boys jump. She turned on her heel and stomped out of the room. The Dining Hall door slammed shut behind her and she held her hand over her nose and mouth as pressure built in her chest and behind her eyes. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She _refused_ cry over him. But _dammit_, why couldn't he just leave it alone? She didn't say anything bad about him and yet here he was being an asshole for no reason. No, not no reason. Not to him. All because of that _stupid_ party. No matter how many times she tried to explain what happened to him he wouldn't listen.

Her fast pace slowed. Her shoes crunched against the dirt beneath her feet and her shoulders sagged. But how much of his side did she listen to? How many times did she accuse him without hearing what he had to say? She swallowed the lump in her throat. How was it that she could feel guilty when all of this was his fault? She had no part in it.

But he felt slighted. Burned. And when he was burned it was hard to cool him down. She _knew_ that. But she still felt herself trying. Why? To salvage a friendship lost? To revisit her past? But through all the questions, she knew the answer, deep down.

To get a sense of home.

It was all she had left before her arrest. She had been ripped from her family and her home and her comforts all for self-defense. All to try and keep her name and reputation and exact revenge. Too bad it didn't work. And maybe she was a bit happy to see Alan again and maybe she did hang onto the hope that things could go back to how they were before. But she wouldn't hope that now. She'd allow it to die.

She only had herself to worry about now. It was the only way she would be able to get out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The news of a suggestion box being brought into the camp spread like wildfire. Nothing new tended to happen around Camp Green Lake save for new campers coming in or someone being bit by something so the idea that they could have a hand in making the camp _better_ was the talk of the town. The box had shown up outside of Pendanski's office door one day and he announced that it was to help them improve the camp. Mickey wanted to point out that the box would be overflowing with suggestions if they were really going to improve the camp since there were many areas the camp could be improved but she kept her mouth shut.

Eagle was the only one she took the time to talk to, excluding the short conversations she'd have with Caveman. He was the only one in D-Tent that didn't make her feel like she was an outsider. The only time the other boys wanted to talk to her was to ask her dirty questions, ask about her childhood with Squid, or try to goad her into an uncomfortable situation. While it bugged her she did realize that she was safe with them. If one _could_ be safe out in the middle of a desert.

D-Tent seemed to go back to "normal"—if one could call them normal—after they adjusted to knowing that there was a girl in camp with them. The other tents not so much. Hardly a day went by without some sort of sexual comment or wolf-whistle shot her way. How they could still find her attractive when she was pouring with sweat, sunburnt to hell, toted raggedy hair, and smelled like a sweat sock was beyond her. But she _was_ the only girl so they couldn't be choosers.

It was also why it didn't surprise her when she had heard of someone's "suggestion" that she go around pleasing the other tents and letting them "get a piece of the action". It made her stomach twist and want to stab them all with a fork but it didn't surprise her. The beating sun and the buffering sand were making her skin toughening her skin in more ways than one.

"I wonder how many people around here would actually eat this shit if they knew what it looked like when it came out of the can," Eagle commented, his freckled nose wrinkling as he peered into a can that had a faded label depicting a fruit cocktail wrapped around it.

"Somehow I think this food is better than what it would be if we were _actually_ in jail," Mickey replied, dumping a can of beans into a metal pan. Her digging speeds didn't match those of Zero but overtime she did find herself not in so much pain and getting finished earlier than when she first arrived a little over a week ago. Now she had some time after digging to read or write a letter home before she had to help prepare dinner. And getting up for breakfast wasn't too bad either.

"We can only hope. Some of this is downright disgusting."

"Yeah, well, as long as we don't croak I don't think they care about the quality. And we're doing our best to cover the tastes."

"Yeah, but we're not miracle workers." Eagle grunted. "_That's_ what people should be suggesting. That we get better food. Not pizza delivered. I mean, sure, I'd kill for a pizza as much as the next guy but who's going to deliver all the way out here? The drive is long for one and the tip for the guy would be enormous. No one would want to shell that out. Especially the Warden."

Mickey's lips pursed. Everyone mentioned the Warden but she'd never seen him around. They say he lived in the lone cabin on the lake surrounded by the only two trees in the whole camp. She figured he must be an effeminate or _very_ empathetic guy if he got her sanitary napkins and pain killers. Either way, if she ever got a chance to meet the guy she'd thank him. He couldn't be all bad if he helped her out.

She grabbed another can and carved the top open to dump the contents out; making a face at the green pile of slop that fell out. It was supposed to be spinach but it looked like green soup. It was becoming much more difficult eating around there when she knew what state the food came in. She was already small in her jumpsuit but it was becoming much roomier as the days went on.

"Think we need to add food coloring?" She asked, motioning to the pan in front of her. Eagle brushed his hands on a dishtowel and walked over, leaning over her shoulder to look at the food. She pressed her lips together, feeling him leaning against her back. The warmth of his skin radiated through his t-shirt. It was unbearable. She had to take a few steps forward to create some space between them.

"Hmmm. Probably. Though that's if we're supposed to assume it needs to be green in the first place," he replied, chuckling a little. She barely cracked a smile and he nudged her with his elbow. "That was a joke. You can laugh, you know."

"Er, sorry," Mickey mumbled. "Just thinking."

"About that suggestion box? Yeah, I don't think there's anything I can suggest. The only thing that could improve this place is if it rained every once in a while," Eagle continued. He went back over to the pot on the stove and looked into it. It had smelled awful when he first thrown what they thought was supposed to be meat for stew into it but with a few spices it didn't turn out so bad. "What would you suggest?"

"Visitation," Mickey replied without hesitation. Being homesick didn't hit her until it was late at night and she couldn't sleep so she would look out at the stars and wonder if her parents were looking at them too. Were they looking at the same ones, the same constellations? Were they thinking about her too? Were they fighting for her release? If it wasn't Armpit's snoring or Squid's farting it was the constant questions that kept her up at night.

"You really think they'd want to tease us with people coming to see what we do all day?" Eagle asked. "And what if people don't come, what do they do? Watch the rest? Plot their murder? It wouldn't work."

"A girl can dream."

They fell into silence as they continued working. Mickey was left chopping and cutting food into equal portions while Eagle watched over the food on the stove. It was almost funny how they trusted their campers with burners but they gave them broken down furniture and pool tables and TVs to use, all which could easily turn into weapons if someone was motivated enough.

They added the green food coloring to the spinach concoction and food coloring to anything else that seemed to need the extra help while Eagle explained the Delivery Truck system. Once it came in the counselors would take all the good food for themselves and leave those that were close to being expired to the kitchens. However some of the counselors were known to trade their sweet treats for favors, which mainly came down to a camper keeping quiet about something they caught a counselor doing. Eagle, for example, could squeeze Twinkies out of their designated tent "mother"—Mr. Collins aka Bear—all because he once accidentally walked in on him "taking care of himself" as he put it.

"So why do give it to me? I haven't done anything to earn it," Mickey pointed out.

Eagle shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno. I just thought it'd make you feel better, since you're having a tough time and all."

"Thanks. That's really sweet of you."

He threw a sheepish smile her way and dropped his arm. She offered up a smile in return. Maybe he wasn't so bad. He wasn't like the other guys in the camp, he actually listened to her and treated her like everyone else. Maybe she actually found a friend out there…

The two jumped and whirled around when the door flew open and hit the wall with a bang. Their surprise quickly changed to confusion when one of the guards walked into the room with Squid trailing behind him, his face pulled into a sneer. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he looked everywhere but at the guard or Mickey and Eagle.

"Alright, if you want to go around messing with other people's stuff have fun washing pots and pans for a week," the guard told Squid, his eyebrows furrowing behind his dark sunglasses.

"Whatever," Squid grunted, his eyes rolling. The guard muttered something about him being a wise guy and turned and left the room. Mickey and Eagle exchanged a look and then turned it over to Squid, who finally looked at them. "What're you lookin' at?" he barked.

"Nothing," Eagle replied. His head cocked to the side and his mouth curled into an amused smile. "What'd you do to get put on pan duty?"

"None of your fucking business."

"It must have been extremely stupid. You're only put on pan duty for the dumb reasons."

Squid looked as if he wanted to murder Eagle on the spot. "Yeah, well I'd rather wash pans than be a _Lunch Lady_."

"Looks like you got your wish," Eagle replied. He tilted his head in the direction of the dirty pans in the sink. "Get started, we need some of them for tonight. You have twenty minutes. And by the way, we don't have a sponge so you'll need to use your hands."

"Bet _you're_ loving this, right Squeaky?" Squid asked, slamming his shoulder into Mickey's as he passed her.

Oh, she was. Mickey snickered at the sour expression on Squid's face. Finally he was getting what he deserved for being so rude to her. She relished in the sight of him scrubbing away at pans with his hands and cursing under his breath the entire time. It was enough to put her on cloud nine, a bright spot in her days that all seemed to have melted together. It was the first time she genuinely felt happy in days.

"Look at that, we're done with time to spare," Mickey said as she brushed her hands on a cloth only fifteen minutes later. "And what a shame, we managed to dirty up _every_ pot and pan we had used."

"Yeah, what a shame," Eagle added, turning to mockingly wave in Squid's direction. The soap covering his fingers blocked his extended middle finger but they got the gesture loud and clear. "Hey, wanna go to the Wreck Room? Bet you can't beat me in a game of pool."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Since everyone's there I was going to take a shower before dinner," she replied.

"Okay, stay on the lookout for Yellow-Spotted Lizards."

She rolled her eyes. "I think I can handle myself."

**_# # #_**

"Hey, look who it is!" X-Ray crowed as soon as Squid dropped down on the couch in the Wreck Room. Stuffing popped out of the holes that dotted the couch but no one batted an eyelash. "Martha Stewart. How soft are your hands?"

"Shut up, man," Squid grumbled.

"You shouldn't have put in that suggestion, dude," Magnet laughed, nudging him on the arm. "Told you the Warden has cameras all over the place."

"Or a snitch." His caramel brown eyes surveyed the room, taking in the other campmates that were spread throughout the room. A-Tent commandeered the weights, C-Tent were around the pool table, D-Tent took up the couch with Zigzag in front of the TV and E-Tent played around with the makeshift "bowling alley" in the corner. "Whoever the fuck told on me is gonna get it."

"You're doing a real good job being tough smelling like lilac," X-Ray pointed out, causing Armpit and Magnet to laugh all over again. Squid grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Besides, no one would snitch. You know that saying 'snitches get stitches'. No one would want to deal with that."

"Not unless they're out to get me," Squid said slowly, his eyes narrowing. "Some mouse in particular."

"You think Squeaky went and told on you?" Armpit asked. He shook his head. "That's low, dog."

"I wouldn't blame her, with the way Squid here's been treatin' her. I'd snitch on you too," X-Ray commented. At the look Squid gave him he held up his hands and laughed. "Easy, Tiger. I'm just saying, you're not innocent in all this. Why do you hate her?"

Squid didn't reply. He kept his eyes glued on the broken TV that Zigzag was sitting in front of, his mind whirling. The others were convinced that the Warden was watching them all but he wasn't so convinced of that. Why would the Warden waste their time just sitting back and watching them and making sure they stayed out of trouble? The Warden didn't care. But the only other one that could have told on him was Mickey. All he did was break a freaking pencil just to show how stupid the suggestion box was and now he was stuck washing pots and pans for a week. It _had_ to be her. Or her little sidekick, Eagle. He looked a little _too_ happy about Squid's punishment. His lip curled. The two made him _sick_. Acting like they were best friends. It was pathetic.

"Where is she, anyway? Too good to hang out with the rest of us?" Magnet asked.

"She's taking a shower," Squid replied, yanking the t-shirt tied around his head off and ran a hand through his hair.

"Damn. Wish I could see that. Bet she has a bangin' body."

"Bet her skin's so smooth and soft," Armpit added.

"Don't make me heave," Squid groaned, rubbing at his forehead. He rested the side of his head on his knuckles and looked around the Wreck Room again. Zigzag's boisterous laugh cut through the other talking and laughter that filled the room. But still, something felt off… "Wait." He sat up straighter in his seat. "Where's B-Tent?"

He got varying answers in response but they all came to the same "don't know, don't care" conclusion. Squid's eyebrows furrowed and his fingers gripped the edge of the armrest beneath his hand. Something stirred in the pit of his stomach. But then he leaned back in his seat and tried to relax. But the nagging feeling only got stronger until he muttered a hearty "_fuck_" and jumped out of his seat, striding to the Wreck Room door. His friends calling out to him was the last thing he heard before the door slammed shut and his legs carried him over to the showers as fast as they could move him.

He wasn't too far away when he heard it. The sound of a struggle. It didn't take long for it to come into view: Mickey struggling to fight back against members of B-Tent who had surrounded her. Her wet hair stuck to her face as she tried to wrench her arms from two B-Tenters' grasp. She kicked out at those that tried to approach her but it didn't take long for them to overpower her and shove her to the ground. Her cheek pressed against the hot dirt, they started pulling on her jumpsuit, laughing all the while.

It all happened so fast. Squid approached one and punched him in the jaw before the B-Tenter could react. With him doubled over, Squid place a well-aimed kick to his groin and turned to punch at another one. His chest heaved from his heavy breath as he fought out against B-Tent. They got a few good hits on him but he recovered quickly and landed more. His knuckles were covered in blood gushing from one B-Tenter's nose that he repeatedly struck before they finally got the good sense to give up and leave. Squid rolled off the one camper so he could scramble away and leave.

"Motherfuckers," he mumbled, shaking out his aching hand. He turned around and watched as Mickey slowly got to her feet; dirt now clung to her cheek, the knees of her jumpsuit, and the ends of her wet air. Once she stood up he exploded. "Are you _fucking_ crazy?"

"No, but I think you're bipolar," she replied, rubbing at her jaw.

"You're a _girl!_ You can't just…just shower in the middle of the day like that! You're only asking for it. It's open season!"

She glared. "No one is _ever_ asking for it, and _you_ of all people know that!"

"Whatever! God! I _knew_ you'd only cause trouble! You can't trust anyone here, especially that Eagle prick. Do you _seriously_ think he's your friend? He's from that tent!"

Mickey's eyes narrowed even more, if that were possible. He was a bit surprised. "You think he sent B-Tent on me?"

"I think you're too naïve to remember that you're in a camp full of _juvenile delinquents_!"

"Why do you fucking care?"

"I don't!" Squid yelled, throwing his arms into the air. "I don't give a fuck what happens to you. I really don't. I could care less."

"It's _couldn't_ care less, and if you don't care so much how come you beat them up?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you _want_ to die out here? Six against one isn't fair odds. That's all. It's not like I fucking like you or anything, Squeaky."

Mickey rolled her eyes and huffed, grabbing the edge of her jumpsuit and pulling it back up her shoulder. He could see the beginnings of a bruise around her neck. Serves her right for being so stupid. He shook out his hand again and curled his fingers, feeling his split skin break open a little more as his fingers moved. "Let me see your hand," she said.

"What? No." Squid lifted the hem of his shirt and brushed it across the back of his hand. The blood wiped off but more oozed to the surface from the cuts on his knuckles.

She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Do you want to lose that hand?"

"Do you want to lose your teeth?" he shot back.

"Fine! Get an infection. I don't care."

"Fine! Go run off to your little boyfriend!"

The anger coursing through Squid's body kept the pain in his knuckles from bothering him too much. Once he got back to the Wreck Room he stood back and watched his friends play pool until the horn for dinner sounded. He followed the mass of campers into the Dining Hall and shuffled down the long line to get food, avoiding both Eagle's and Mickey's eyes as they spooned food onto his plate.

Dinner lasted a bit longer since he wasn't used to eating with his left hand. Thankfully the conversation wasn't directed towards him and he could spend the time laughing at some idiot who got bit by a scorpion, which then turned into ribbing Armpit. He still couldn't get over it.

He had met "Theodore" the first day he had arrived. It was him, X-Ray, Barfbag, and Zigzag there at the time. Screamo had just been transported to the hospital for heat poisoning. (He tended to yell in his sleep, they were kinda glad he was gone). "Theodore" was a nice enough guy but he had hardly paid attention to him until someone knocked over his dinner tray one day and wound up with two black eyes and a sprained ankle. X-Ray brought "Theodore" into his little group acting as his third in command. He, Squid, was X-Ray's second and they handled his dirty work. They were protected in turn. Except from scorpion stings.

"Theodore" hadn't gotten into the habit of checking his bed before going to sleep and laid right on top of one. It didn't like being squashed and stung him. From that day on "Theodore" complained about his armpit hurting and the name just stuck. He was glad _he_ never got stung by a scorpion or else he'd probably be stuck with a name like Groin or Ankle.

The pain had come back tenfold when he took a shower that night. He had forgotten about his hand injury for a while until the combination of soap and water attacked the open wound. It stung and throbbed and some blood started to come back out but he pushed it aside. He'd dealt with worse.

"You just keep slamming things in that tent door, don't you?" X-Ray asked Mickey as they lounged around in their tent that night. She didn't answer, keeping her head down as she read that _Harry Potter_ book again. "Look at those marks on her neck. You try to strangle her, Squid?"

"Shut up," he grumbled, lying down on his cot staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you okay?" Squid sat up to see _Stanley_ standing above Mickey, concern in his eyes. He pushed a breath out of nose and watched as Mickey held her finger in the book to hold her place and looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's nothing."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks though. It's really nothing."

_Stanley_ nodded and walked back over to his cot. Squid laid back down and shook his head. Freaking Stanley going around and putting on an act, like he cared about her. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he stood—interrupting some conversation X-Ray and Magnet were having about oatmeal—and left the tent.

Anger shot through him again but this time he couldn't place it. Before he could pin it on Mickey for being there, for befriending Eagle, for _existing_. But now there was nothing to tack it onto. He was just angry. And that pissed him off. He laughed out loud. Now he was angry for being angry! He kicked at the ground; his boot struck a patch of loose dirt and kicked up a cloud. He waved his hand in front of his face to bat the cloud away and sighed.

Giving his head a shake, he turned and walked the short distance back to the tent to now see some of them playing dice with rocks. Usually he'd join in with a bet going on it to win shower tokens—he never lost and would wind up swimming in tokens—but he wasn't in the mood tonight. He ignored his friends and laid down on his cot to rest.

He flopped down on his pillow and something flew up and landed on his face. Frowning, he pinched it and held it above his face to get a better look at it. It was a painkiller. He stopped himself from looking over at Mickey and, instead, threw it in her direction. He didn't care where it landed as he turned his attention to his hand.

It hurt to stretch and curl his fingers or hold something in that hand but, still, he ignored the pain. It was a reminder to not get involved in something that didn't concern him and not to give into his guilt. Mickey wasn't of his concern anymore. He washed his hands of that months ago. If she wanted to be stupid she could go right ahead.

But _damn_, she could have chosen _anyone_ but Eagle.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

A frown sat upon Mickey's face as she stared at the paper between her hands, rereading the carefully written words for the thousandth time that night since she found it beneath her dinner tray. She didn't recognize the handwriting and had no clue as to who the note belonged to at first but one glance across the Mess Hall to see Eagle's intense gaze connected the dots for her. She hastily slipped it out of sight from the rest of the tent, the last thing she wanted after having to serve them was for Squid to find it and hurl more razor sharp words at her. So she waited until she was safe back in the tent to read his apology.

It was almost funny how boys were afraid with using their words unless it was aimed at tearing someone down. As much as Squid claimed to dislike Eagle they were the same in how they worked; choosing to write out apologies rather than say them. Mickey had a box at home filled with notes from Squid, all apologies for one reason or another. (She had a separate one for his more sentimental note, they were few and far between but special nonetheless.)

She hummed as her eyes scanned over the note again, taking in the length of Eagle's apology for B-Tent. It was a bit unnecessary. Then again, everything Eagle's been doing for her was a bit unnecessary but she wasn't going to complain. He's helped make her transition a lot less of a nightmare than she expected it to be. Of course he couldn't help her screaming muscles or the peeling sunburn or the blisters or the cramps but with everything else he was there for advice and guidance. Now if only he could help with dealing with her tentmates.

It was almost like they were bipolar. At one minute they would be nice and talk to her and treat her like a normal person but then she'd blink and then they'd be laughing at her, talking about her, and teasing her. Well, teasing was a soft version of what she could call it. 'Hazing', really. Not to the extent of a fraternity, mind you, but putting a scorpion in her bed and spraying water on her while she was sleeping and putting honey on her pillow could hardly be classified as pranks.

She was going to get them back, one way or another. Especially Squid. As far as she was concerned there was no more Alan inside him, as much as she believed there was before. If he was going to fight it she may as well fight it too. It'd make both their lives easier.

Mickey folded up the letter and shoved it in the open pages of her book, marking her spot before closing it with a snap. She put it back into her crate, stuffing it beneath her bag and notebook, and left the tent. The boys were still in the Wreck Room and Squid, hopefully, was still washing dishes from dinner that night. She dashed the short distance from D-Tent to B-Tent and then hesitated. This was crazy. Here she was hovering outside the one tent that had just attacked her during the day. It still hurt to breathe and it had been a bit difficult to chew as well and yet here she was, seemingly waiting to get attacked all over again.

_You didn't get enough the first time, huh?..._

The weekend came to an end all too soon for Mickey. She barely slept a wink as the events of the party replayed in her mind: the drinking, the loud music, the thick smoke, getting into a fight with Alexis, looking for Alan and finding Brett and his friends instead. She'd love to forget it all if it weren't for it rolling through her mind in a constant loop like a broken record.

She tried to call Alexis but she was sent straight to her voicemail every time. She finally gave up on the seventh try. Her efforts then switched over to Alan, but she had to call his house. He didn't have a cell phone, something that she still couldn't wrap her head around in this day and age but if his mom didn't want him to have one he couldn't get one. The phone rang time and time again until she gave up on him too.

Brushing her hair out of her face and ignoring the angry purple bruise around her wrist, she kicked her legs over the side of her bed. Her feet touched the floor but her knees couldn't stand up to the pain in her thighs and she fell over. She landed on the floor with a hard thud and lay there as pain throbbed in her body and made her breathing hitch.

Between her breaths she could hear rapid footsteps moving up the stairs and it was only a second later she heard rapid knocks on her door. "Sweetie? Are you okay? What happened?" her mother called through the door.

"Fine," Mickey replied, her teeth gritted. "My leg was asleep so I fell."

"Do you need anything?"

Mickey rolled her eyes. Honestly, she just fell over. She didn't break her leg or bust her head open. "No, Mom, I'm fine. Really. I'll be down in a minute, okay?"

"Okay," her mother finally replied with a sigh. "I have your favorite breakfast waiting for you."

Mickey didn't move until she could hear her mother's footsteps walk away from her door, even then it took a few minutes for that to happen. Her mother had a bad habit of standing on the other side of the door and waiting. For what, after all these years, Mickey couldn't quite figure out. Her body curled in on itself as she let out a long sigh and finally pushed herself back to her feet.

She shuffled her way out of her room and into her bathroom to shower. She turned the temperature dial as far over as it could go and jumped in. The water stung but she did her best to ignore it as she scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin. Between the heavy hand of her wash cloth and the scalding water, it didn't take long for her skin to turn bright red but she still rubbed. Only when she felt she was suffocating on the steam did she step out of the shower but she still didn't feel clean.

Once dressed, she dragged her backpack down the stairs and went into the kitchen where her mother was humming over the hot stove and her father was sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. A picture perfect family scene straight out of the movies.

Mickey grumbled her greeting to her father and forced herself to dig into the chocolate chip pancakes waiting for her despite the aching clench in her stomach making it hard to want to eat. It'd only upset her mom and that was the last thing she wanted to do right now. She made a face at the sweet taste on her tongue. What once brought her comfort now made her sick to her stomach.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" her father asked, looking at her from overtop his paper.

"'M fine, Dad."

"Are you sure? You look a little flushed."

If looks could kill the one she was shooting her father would make him drop dead in an instant. In a matter of seconds her mother had cleared the floor between the kitchen table and the stove and placed her palm on Mickey's forehead.

"Mom, I'm _fine_," Mickey stressed, jerking her head this way and that to try and get out from beneath her mom's grip.

"You are a little warm," her mother commented, keeping a steady grip on her. "And you are a bit flushed," she added, grasping Mickey's cheeks to get a proper look at her face. "Do you feel sick? Maybe you shouldn't go to school today."

"I might as well. Don't want to get behind on homework and stuff." Right as the words came out of her mouth she wished she could take them back. Maybe it would be a good idea to stay home. Then she wouldn't have to face Alexis and Alan and all the other kids that were around to bear witness to the disaster. But then she sighed and thought better of it. Not showing up at school would only make things worse. She may as well get it over with.

"Well, okay. If you feel any worse I want you to call home right away. I'll come and get you. Don't forget to check in with the nurse. And I'll have a snack waiting for you just in case."

"Fine, whatever! Just get off me!" Mickey slapped her mother's hands away before pushing away her plate and grabbed her backpack. "I'm gonna go." Before her mother could even protest she rushed to the front door, put on her shoes, and left.

Standing on the porch made a jolt of realization shoot through her. Where Alan used to stand was the empty sidewalk. Her shoulder sagged and she let out a breath. Of course. Figures he wouldn't be there waiting for her. After the party she'd be gobsmacked if he even laid eyes on her again. She briefly twisted her mouth to the side and then started the short trek to school.

The school loomed over her once she arrived, so much so that it made her take pause on the front steps. Her fingers twitched against the straps of her backpack and her eyes darted from side to side as students filed in past her. Some were laughing, some were looking at something on a cell phone, some were hastily finishing up their homework. So far so good.

But standing outside of the school was different than walking in through the doors. As soon as she stepped inside it felt as if every eye had turned on her. All conversations ceased and the halls filled with eerie silence. Mickey checked her face and ran her fingers though her hair only to find nothing. _You're overreacting just get to your locker and everything will be okay._

Ducking her head, Mickey stared at her feet and walked as fast as she could to get to her locker. She managed to dodge a few people that got in her way but rounding the corner only put her in the path of more people. It didn't take long for her to walk right into someone, stumbling backwards. She managed to stay on her feet but her cheeks burned a bright red.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," she stuttered, brushing her hair out of her face. She then looked up and felt her blood run cold. Her breath caught in her throat and she began to tremble beneath Brett's gaze.

"Well, well, if it isn't Mason," Brett said with a smarmy smile that made her skin crawl more than it already was. "Did you come over here looking for another good time? Was the party not good enough for you?" He reached out and brushed his finger against the cheek all the while asking, "You didn't get enough the first time, huh?"

Gritting her teeth, Mickey reached out and slapped his hand away. "_Don't touch me!_" she hissed.

"What a damn shame you weren't this feisty this weekend," Brett cooed in a mocking manner. "Would've made everything much more interesting."

"Shut up!"

Brett laughed. "Hey, if you ever want to have some fun again you'll know where to find me." He pressed his index and middle fingers to his mouth and blew her a kiss before walking off.

Mickey swallowed the sour-tasting bile that collected in the back of her mouth and forced herself to keep going to her locker. Whispers shot around her like gunfire barely missing her exposed nerves. Hunching her shoulders, she did her best to block out the intruding whispers and hisses and made a beeline for her locker. A few people stood around it, pointing at something. Her eyebrows furrowed. What could possibly be so interesting about her locker?

"Look, there she is," one of the girls muttered. Nudging another, the crowd around her locker parted and Mickey finally saw what it was that they were looking at. Written on her locker door in big, thick, black letters was one word: **WHORE**.

Mickey brushed her finger against the lettering to see if the marker would smudge. Her finger dragged against the cold metal which emitted a high pitched squeaking sound. The marker was left intact. She felt a prickling sensation at the back of her eyes and it wasn't long before tears lined her bottom lid. She sucked in a breath and held it only to release it in a gasp later when she felt something hit the side of her face before clattering against the ground. She glanced down and saw the marker rolling away from her foot. Shifting her attention up from the floor her eyes then rested on Alan who stood a few lockers down, smirking along with his other loser friends.

The warmth that used to be housed within his brown eyes had disappeared and his eyes were now cold as he looked at her. She turned her head away as a fresh tear fell down her face and she rushed off to the nurse's office.

Maybe coming to school wasn't the best idea.

_You didn't get enough the first time, huh?..._

"Mickey?" She felt a hand on her shoulder at the same moment someone spoke her name, causing her body to jerk. She dropped her shoulder from beneath the hand and moved away as rapidly as possible. "Sorry," Eagle apologized, holding up his hands. "I forgot: gotta keep my hands to myself. What are you doing over here? Any of the others find you and they'd jump you again for sure."

"I was looking for you," Mickey replied.

"Yeah?" Eagle shoved his hands into his pockets. "What for? Everything okay?"

She started to reply yes but, really, nothing was okay. Being stuck in the same tent, in the same place, breathing the same _air_ as Squid sent her back to those torturous days in school that she had wanted to escape before but not like this. It only goes to show that people had a point when they said to be careful what you wish for. But she was stuck there and she always wished she could get back at her tormentors. And Squid just so happened to fall into her lap, why not take the chance?

"No. It could be, though," she finally replied. "I'm going to need your help."

"Anything that involves breaking the law, you're on your own," he joked with a half smile, though it fell only a second later when she didn't smile in return. "_Does_ it involve breaking the law?"

She rolled her eyes. "We can't do any worse than what we've done to get stuck here," she pointed out. "But no. I just want to get Squid back somehow. He…humiliated me once. I want to do the same to him. I know we can't do much here—"

"No, it only means we have to be more creative," Eagle interrupted her, making a show of cracking his fingers. "You know a lot about him; there has to be some embarrassing stuff stored up in there somewhere. We can use that. And if that doesn't help, well, I'm finally appreciating having two older brothers that lived to torment me."

Mickey blinked. "You didn't even think twice about this."

Eagle shrugged. "We're friends. Nothing to think twice about."

As much as she tried to fight it she couldn't stop the smile that came to her face. If she was going to trust one person there, despite what Squid says, it couldn't be that bad for it to be him.

* * *

_**a/n:** _I was going to put this up yesterday but with the subject matter of the chapter I didn't think it would be right to post it on Thanksgiving. I hope the flashback sequence made sense to you! Thanks for reading, please review!


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n \- **This chapter contains sensitive subject matter of a sexual nature, therefor is potentially triggering. Proceed with caution.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

No matter how much she struggled, the weight pressed hard against her shoulder. Alcohol stained breath wafted past her nose and made her stomach heave but her arms were too weak to push the crushing weight away. Her head swam, her dry tongue scratched against her equally dry mouth, and she couldn't tell if the pounding in her head was from the bass line of the music downstairs of something else.

"I'm…I'm gonna be sick," she mumbled, trying to turn her head to the side. A hand grabbed at her jaw and turned her head back. Lips rubbed against the side of her mouth in a sloppy attempt at a kiss and another wave of hot, alcohol soaked breath wrapped around her head and punched her in the gut.

"C'mon, just relax," he said, his words tinged with a laugh. "_Relax_."

"No...I…I can't breathe," she muttered. She struck at his shoulder but her arms were limp, like noodles. He pressed his forearm into her shoulder and removed his other hand from her face, dropping it down between their bodies. Every effort to use her knees and legs to push him off only spurned him on. "No…"

"Don't worry," he hummed, grabbing her chin in his hand, "you'll feel good soon."

Darkness crept into the cream colored ceiling until it dissolved and formed the canvas of the tent. Mickey blinked and the snores surrounding her came crashing down all at once. The sounds of her dream all faded away, like a needle being taken off a record player. Save for one.

Mickey's eyebrows twitched. The snoring she was used to but the random heavy breathing was weird. She swallowed…and then her blood ran cold. The contracting muscle in her neck brushed against something. And the heavy breathing in her ear that should have faded away with the dream only got louder by her ear. Her eyes popped open when she felt warm, moist air across her face and, despite the tight grip on it, she managed to turn her head.

She came face to face with a camper kneeling by her side, his eyes squeezed shut, his mouth slack, the hem of his shirt bunched, his boxers around his knees and…his _hand_…

"What the _fuck!?_"

She wasn't sure who yelled that louder, herself when she scrambled to get out of his grasp and to sit up or the other camper when she struck him right between the legs. He fell backwards on his rear end, his hands clutching at his now aching genitals.

Blankets ruffled and cots squeaked as the boys roused from their sleep. Mickey stumbled to get away from the boy, her legs tangling up in her sleeping bag, impeding her movement. She managed to shuffle backwards on her hands, her back resting against the wall of the tent when the lights came on at once, flooding the room in harsh lighting. She squeezed her eyes shut at the abrupt brightness and slowly opened them to see Zero standing by the light-switch. The other boys were either sitting up or on their feet, trying to figure out what was going on. The camper still lay in the middle of the tent, his hands between his legs.

"What's going on?" X-Ray asked, his words thick with sleep.

"He was…he just…" Mickey stuttered, pointing a finger at the camper in agony. She couldn't choke out the words, partly due to her shock and…well, she didn't want to end up a tattletale did she? That would brand her with a mark of shame before she could even blink.

"I wasn't doing anything, man," the camper grunted, grasping the edge of a cot to stumble to his feet. "She just freaked out and punched me in the nuts! She's fucking crazy, man!"

"What you doing in our tent, man?" Armpit asked, standing to his full height. "Do we waltz right into your tent?"

"Yeah, get the fuck out of here," Squid spoke up, his words like steel. Mickey hummed. Apparently he still wasn't someone who liked being woken up.

"_She's_ the one who brought me in," the camper said, pointing an accusing finger at Mickey. Her eyes widened as the boys all turned to look at her and she gaped up at them from the floor. "She was looking for a good time but she couldn't hack it."

Murmurs ran around the tent as they stared at her. One glance in Squid's direction and she was sent back to that first day back at school after the party. He was looking at her the exact same way he did when she noticed the graffiti on her locker. He was looking at her like she was the most disgusting thing he ever set his sights on. Just like the other students at school, the ones who didn't know what happened. The ones who relied on muddled stories and hallway hearsay just to sink their teeth into a juicy story.

"_Seriously!?_" She exploded, making them all jump. She fought to get out of her sleeping bag beneath their stares. Her cheeks burned and bile tumbled in her stomach but she managed to keep everything down, save for the words at the back of her throat fighting to get out. "I was here…sleeping!" she growled, kicking her legs and finally getting up to her feet. Her back throbbed in pain from lying on the hard ground but she barely noticed it. "I don't even know who the hell you are! _You're_ the one who came in here and…and held me down and…"

The bile shot up her throat, burning as the acid tried to shoot out. Tears collected in her eyes but she brushed them away. She didn't want them thinking she was crying over this. She cried all her tears weeks ago, Brett couldn't get them out of her anymore. She swallowed thickly, feeling the chunky contents of her stomach sliding back down. The sensation almost made her gag all over again but she held firm, taking a deep breath.

"Yo, calm down Ma," Magnet spoke up. "Don't get all emotional now."

"Girls. What do you expect from them?" The camper muttered.

Mickey's nostrils flared and she gritted her teeth. "Shut up!" she barked. "You hold me down and jerk off in my face while I'm _sleeping_ and you have the gall to call _me_ emotional? How would you like it if I shovel a shovel up your ass while _you_ were asleep?"

The camper stared at her as if she had completely lost her man. "Man, I aint gay."

Maybe it was him who had lost his mind. Was that really all he got out of it? That he wasn't gay? He assaulted her—or harassed her, she still wasn't sure of the proper terminology—and yet there he stood like he didn't have a care in the world. Like _she_ was in the wrong for not appreciating him waking her up with his dick in her face.

"What's going on here?" Pendanski inquired as he walked into the tent, rubbing his eyes. His hair was tousled and his eyes were rimmed red. His eyes moved around the room before resting on the spare camper. "Matthew, what are you doing in here?"

"She wanted me in here," 'Matthew' replied, tilting his head in Mickey's direction. "Chick was a little desperate, you know what I mean? Figured I could help the lady adjust"

"You lying little—" Mickey started to rush at the boy but Zigzag and Magnet grabbed her before she could get too far.

"She freaked and punched me in the balls," 'Matthew' continued. "Girls, right?"

"Pendanski, that's not what happened!" Mickey uttered. "He came in here and—"

"Look," Pendanski interrupted her, holding up her palm. She closed her mouth and waited. "I understand that you're in a new place, in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. You might need some…_comforts._" Mickey's lip twitched and she gaped at him. He couldn't possibly be saying what she thought he was saying. "I get it. We're all people around here. Just, maybe next time, think about what you're doing rather than resorting to having to cry wolf and—"

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Mickey spat. Her ears rang and her heart hammered against her chest as she struggled to get her breath back to normal.

"See? Pendanski, she's completely crazy. Must be PMSing or something," 'Matthew' said.

"Alright, alright, get back to your tent," Pendanski said, waving 'Matthew' out. On his way out of the tent, 'Matthew' paused by the door, held his fingers up into a V shape and wiggled his tongue in between it. With a smirk shot her way he left, disappearing into the darkness that lay outside the tent.

"Pendanski," Mickey started, wrenching her arms from Zigzag's and Magnet's grasp.

"Let's all get some sleep. You'll need your strength for digging in a couple hours," Pendanski said, his words jump-starting the others to get back to bed. None of the boys looked at her as they climbed back into their beds. Mickey took the opportunity to close the space between them.

"Pendanski, he sneaked in here and—" Mickey started, her voice low.

"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked. She stared at him. He wasn't much taller than her, three inches max, but his words cut straight into her and made her feel as if he was towering over her. "Watch you while you sleep? Or will the sky fall for you then too?" She didn't have the words to reply. "Get back to sleep." He turned and left the tent, smacking his hand against the wall to turn the lights off on his way out, plunging her into darkness.

Her body shook as she walked back to her abandoned sleeping bag. She was on her knees, unzipping it with fumbling fingers when she heard a hissing whisper by her head: "Aren't you over the fake stories? Grow up!"

Mickey lay back down in her sleeping bag, staring hard up at the ceiling. The anger that bubbled inside her kept her awake for the next few hours and when the bugle recording sounded to wake them all up to dig that day, she was dressed and out of the tent before the boys fully roused. Before they could accuse her for taking a peek at their junk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Why do you look like you're going to tear someone's head off?" Eagle asked, studying Mickey's face as she entered the kitchen to prepare "breakfast" that morning. That only meant they were going to open a jar of peanut butter and put out limp celery sticks and raisins. Why she had to get up for that, she didn't know but she wasn't going to raise a fuss about it. She was tired of shouting into the void, to deaf ears. It only caused her pain.

She didn't want to hurt anymore.

"Because I'm stuck with a bunch of…_jerks!_" Mickey replied. A much stronger word was desired but she couldn't come up with anything appropriate at the time. Instead she grabbed a jar and slammed it down on a counter top.

"Okay…want to tell me what these jerks did?" Eagle prompted, digging a knife though another jar. He picked up a celery stick and dragged the peanut butter across the top of a celery stick. It was a little difficult due to the limpness of the vegetable. "Whoa!" he cried out, racing over to yank the knife she picked up out of her hand. "No knives for you. Bad Mickey, bad!" He set it down out of her reach. "The last thing you want is to get a murder charge while you're here."

"Well, it'd get me out of here so that wouldn't exactly be a _bad_ thing," Mickey growled, shoving raisins into the prepared celery sticks so hard that she left finger marks in the peanut butter.

"What happened?" Eagle pressed. She huffed out a breath. "You can trust me, Micks." His words were so soft, so tender that it almost made her fall over in surprise. But added to those words were a certain weight that struck her just as hard. _Micks_. She couldn't help but remember that Squid used to call her that, back when things were good between them, back when hearing his name put a smile on her face, back when they were friends.

A lifetime ago.

So, with a heavy sigh, she relayed the happenings: finding 'Matthew' or whatever his name was in her tent, trying to explain what happened, having to fight against the boy's words, and culminating with her sleeping with one eye open just in case one of her tentmates tried anything while she slept. She didn't worry about Caveman or Zero but the others? She couldn't take that risk.

The ease of which the words came out of her surprised her, giving her a good one-two punch in a span of a few minutes. But then that surprise was short-lived. Frankly, Eagle's been the only one around the camp that tried to make her feel comfortable since the day she got there and, if she were being honest, she trusted him more than she trusted anyone else there.

Especially now. Even if he was there for a reason as well. Surely it couldn't be _so_ bad. Someone as nice as him couldn't be, say, a murderer or a batterer or anything of the sort. _What about Ted Bundy?_ a voice nearly shouted in her ear but she waved it away. They were juveniles. Anything particularly bad and they would have all been sent to an actual adult jail.

While she was trained on that notion, Eagle was trained on another one. In fact he was so stuck on it that his eyes had widened to nearly two times their normal size. "You _squealed?_" he repeated himself for the third time, the words bouncing against Mickey's bewildered stare.

"I explained a situation," she stated. "There's a difference."

"No, you squealed!" he insisted, setting the celery in his hand down. "That's rule number one here! ...Okay, maybe rule number three. Number one is don't bother the Warden."

"What's number two?"

"Don't fuck with Mr. Sir."

She nodded. Good rule. He looked as if he could strike faster than an angry rattlesnake. "I didn't squeal," she insisted.

"Yes you did!" A rapid head nod went along with his persistence. He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. "We don't tell Pendanski or Bear or the other counselors or _anyone _about what's going on. They don't care and they won't do anything about it for one but then you're labeled a rat. And being a rat is _worse_ than being a sissy around here. You've just put a target on your back."

Mickey's nostrils flared. Heat crept up her neck and she had to take in a deep breath to keep from snapping at him too. "I'm not just going to sit around let them do whatever they want with me when they feel like it." _Not again._

"No, no, I understand that—"

"No you _don't!_" Mickey interrupted him. Her chest heaved and her jaw began to hurt by how much she clenched her teeth. Air that she sucked in between her teeth whistled and her head began to throb. "You don't understand because this is a place for _you_. Boys…it's easy for you to survive here. Not just here, out there too." She waved her hand to motion off in the distance, to the society they had left behind. "It isn't easy for me. You don't get it." She sighed. "You _can't_ get it."

Silence passed through them as they went back to work. It didn't take long to get breakfast ready and by the time they brought it outside to "serve" it the boys had already began lining up at the "Library". Mickey kept her head down, dodging the leering stares and whispered comments on what they'd do to her given the opportunity.

It used to be white noise, something she could ignore as she went about her day due to her goal of getting straight to the next one. After all, the more days that passed the faster she would be out of there. Or the faster someone would rectify the mistake that sent her there in the first place. But now, after the rough night, the noise became as noticeable as cicadas on their first day emerging from a long sleep.

Their stares made her skin crawl and when it wasn't crawling it was burning, as if she was trapped in the narrow beam of a magnifying glass. Which she may as well be with the blistering sun beating down on her all day. The only relief they got was when the sun went down but that was when she really needed to be on her toes, it seemed.

_Now that's an idea…_

Mickey popped a celery stick into her mouth, grabbing one of the fresher ones as compared to the rest of the bunch, and carefully chewed as she thought. Being a "Lunch Lady" as they put it certainly had its perks. She could get her hands on just about any kitchen item she wanted. Now all she had to do was be a little creative with what she could do with them…

"What took you so long?" Alan asked.

Mickey's eyebrows crinkled as she approached her front door. He stood from the step and pulled a still-smoking cigarette from his mouth and dropped it on the ground. She watched as he crushed it with the heel of his shoe and stepped past it. She pursed her lips. Her mom would throw a fit if she saw it. But she lifted her eyes to his face and shrugged.

"I was at school," she replied, walking up to him. "You know, that place you _left_. _Again_."

"S'no point in bein' there," he grunted, following her up the front steps. The scent of cigarette smoke trailed behind him. Her mom wouldn't like that either.

"Maybe to get an education?" she suggested, flipping through her keys.

"S'no point," he repeated. "It's a waste of time. I have better things to do."

"Like smoke?" She gave him a look over her shoulder as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. She immediately kicked off her shoes and left them by the door. She waited for Alan to do the same and they carefully tiptoed across the carpeted living room to get into the kitchen. Her mother didn't like them wearing shoes in the house. Not that I mattered, Mickey preferred to be barefoot. "I really wish you'd stop doin' that. You stink."

"And you're short," Alan shot back. When she turned to admonish him she spotted the beaming grin on his face and she sighed. She could never resist that smile. Lately it's shown up rarely so whenever she saw it she relished in the moment.

"Seriously, what are you doing all day?" Mickey pumped the handle to the refrigerator and looked inside for something decent to have. Cartons of greek yogurt stared back at her, lined up in rows surrounded by milk, bread, eggs, assorted cheeses, some leftovers, and some fruit. She pulled a face.

"Just stuff," he replied. He took a seat at the table and immediately began to lean back in the chair. She made a face, fearing for scuffs on the floor, but then she let it drop. Scuffs happen.

"What _kind_ of stuff?"

Alan paused. "What's with the interrogation?" he asked, his accent thickening. "Is my momma checkin' in on me or something?"

"No." Mickey shook her head. She closed the refrigerator and stood. "Nothing like that."

"Figures." Alan grunted. "She doesn't care about anything past figuring out how to get to the bar." His eyebrows furrowed. "_Your_ momma askin'?" The steely tone attached to his words made her take pause. It was weird.

"No! Alan, _I'm_ asking," she stressed. His eyebrow twitched but he remained quiet. "You've been skipping a lot lately. Or showing up late. Is…is there something going on? At home?"

"More than usual?" he asked darkly. Her skin prickled. He shook his head and a faraway look settled in his eyes. "No. Everything's the same."

_But maybe that's the problem._ Mickey kept her thought to herself and blew out a breath. She hated not being able to do anything to help him, being forced to sit back day by day and watch him walk along with his head hung low and a scowl across his face. No matter how many times she tried to bring it up to her parents, to offer some sort of peace for her friend, her dad would be open to listening but her mom would shut down the conversation on site.

She licked her lips. "But you'd tell me. Right?" She ventured, her words quiet. "If something was going on?"

He swung his dark eyes over to her and cracked a smile. It didn't reach his eyes but she didn't call him out on it. "Don't worry, Micks. I can handle it." He went back to rocking in the chair. "So, have anything to eat?"

She made a face. "No, sorry. It's just a bunch of boring junk. We need to go shopping again."

"Let me see." Alan got up and went over to the refrigerator. He glanced inside, clicked his tongue, and then started pulling out some yogurt and the fruit. "We just need to get a little creative. We can have smoothies."

Her mouth opened, ready for an explanation of how her mom didn't like her using appliances without supervision—which was ridiculous, she was thirteen for Pete's sake!—but she kept her mouth shut. It wasn't like she was alone, anyway. Alan was there with her. He was fifteen, nearly sixteen, that's enough supervision right?

Right.

Mickey squashed her worries and helped scoop yogurt and fruit into the machine that he had pulled out. He haphazardly poured in some milk and threw in some honey for good measure, which had her squealing in disgust but he assured her that it would taste good.

"I make it for my momma," he said, dumping some peaches into the blender. "It helps with her hangovers. She acts like a normal person after having some." The faraway look returned.

Mickey bit her lip. "You know if…if things get a little…crazy over there…you can always come here. If you want." She twisted her fingers together as Alan looked over at her. "Have a place to escape."

He pushed a sigh out of his nose. "Your momma wouldn't like it."

"So sneak in." The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them and her cheeks reddened when his eyebrows jumped up. "You shouldn't have to…have to deal with that. So you can come over and get a break."

He seemed to contemplate it for a moment but then his nose wrinkled. "What about your parents?"

"They won't know. I can…I can hide you in my closet. Or under the bed. Until they go to sleep. And then you can leave before they wake up."

He picked up the lid to the blender and pressed it down until it created a tight seal. He kept a hand on the top of it and tapped his thumb against the buttons on the base. "You know, this is why your friend Alexis thinks we're sleeping together."

"_What!?"_ Mickey squeaked, her face turning redder at the notion. Her and Alan…sleeping together? Like _sleeping together!?_ How come Alexis never said anything? How come she hadn't heard anything? It…it simply wasn't true! Not at all. She didn't even see Alan like that and…and he'd never see her like that anyway. She brought her thumb up to her mouth and started biting on the nail. "I'm…I'm just trying to help. Alexis…Alexis is stupid, that's all." She scraped off a fleck of purple glitter nail polish and then spat it out.

"Relax, Mouse, it's not a big deal," he commented. His thumb was still poised over the button to turn it on. He paused. "Can I ask you something?"

Mickey nodded. "Sure."

"Have you ever had sex?"

She spluttered, suddenly finding it difficult to form any sort of coherent sentence. Why would he even…? He looked at her, his stare unblinking as he waiting for some sort of answer. Finally she got a grip and replied, "Of-of course not! No! I—no!"

"Okay, okay! Relax! I'm just asking." He chuckled a little. "Jesus, you're wound tighter than a ten day clock."

"Well, well, what about you?" she asked, indignant.

"What about me?"

"Have _you_ ever had…had _that?_"

He blinked. "Had sex?"

"Yes, that!"

He didn't reply. Instead he smiled, shrugged, and pressed the _ON_ button. The sound of whirring blades filled the kitchen, drowning out any other noise.

_We just need to get a little creative…_

**_# # #_**

Beads of sweat rolled down her cheeks as she bent over to scoop out another shovel full of dirt. With a grunt she tossed it aside, feeling the muscles in her back scream at being stretched again and again and again. She knew turning at the waist as a bad idea but it was the best way she could get the hole dug when it was at waist height. Throwing it over her shoulder was a bad idea; she learned that the hard way, when it took two days to wash the dirt from her hair completely. Plus, the less she bent over the better.

A few days had passed since the incident with Matthew and, since then, it wasn't unusual for other campers to come by and watch her dig. They would snicker and punch each other on the arm and whisper lewd comments to one another. She wasn't sure if they were that bad at whispering or wanted her to hear them. Either way, she did her best to ignore it. It was one thing to be talked about by other tents but it was another to hear it from her own.

Eagle had tried to warn her about "squealing" as he put it. She wasn't concerned; if she could walk the halls at her school with stupid rumors floating around and being propositioned between classes, she could handle a camp full of boys. But they were in a juvenile correction facility and they weren't _just_ boys. They were criminals, felons, delinquents and every single one of them were there for a reason and she was thrust into their world and expected to play their game where the rules changed by the day.

They pushed her around, took her food, talked about her around her, poked her with the broken cue sticks and made her pick up things they dropped on "accident". She couldn't win.

But maybe winning wasn't the end goal. Maybe she was going about it all wrong. What was the point of winning when the prize would leave her beaten and bruised for all her trouble? No, there had to be a bigger prize at stake.

_Survival_.

The word flashed in her mind, poised on her dry, cracked lips. Her fingers clenched the shaft of her shovel a little tighter. Her eyes darted around, landing on each sweaty-faced boy near her in turn. She didn't dare look when they glanced over at her. The smarmy smile she was dished all morning as she gave them "breakfast" was enough to last her a lifetime. In fact, she was starting to prefer Squid's animosity. At least then she knew how he felt, he kept his cards on the table where she could see what he was playing. It was the others she needed to keep an eye on.

Not Caveman or Zero, those two boys were the least of her concerns. They kept to themselves and when she and Caveman did talk it was about their homes and their family and anything else that could keep them sane. Zero she just watched from afar, trying to figure him out; not that she got anywhere, he didn't seem to like interaction and every time she greeted him he'd only look at her with his large, brown eyes and then go back to what he was doing.

At least she got a feel for what they were like, the others…it was as if they wore masks that they cycled through when it felt convenient to them. X-Ray acted like a gentleman some moments but then she quickly caught on that it wasn't for her benefit but his. He didn't do anything without getting something out of it. Squid and Armpit were his lackeys, roughing people up so he couldn't get his prints on the crime scene. Magnet followed them around, one foot in the circle and one foot out. Close but not too close; that way he could blend like a chameleon whenever the need suited him. Zigzag was off in his own world, where fantasy and reality blurred and he dipped his fingers in the one that suited his fancy at the moment. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

But beneath the dirt, beneath the sun, beneath the jumpsuits they were all the same. They were boys and if there was one thing Mickey learned it was that she couldn't trust them anymore.

_Except Eagle._ She licked her lips. They stung at the added moisture. He was the only one who saw her and treated her like a person. He was the only one who sat and listened to her vent about her time at the camp and offered a funny story to try and lift her mood and made her feel _normal_, rather than some sub-species. The more they woke up to prepare breakfast, the more they laughed over cooking dinner, and the more they met up before lights out to make plans, the more relaxed she felt around him.

He was an exception to the rule. A welcomed exception. A friend, even.

She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. Sweat smeared across her skin but she hardly noticed. Her mind was on her mother. Mickey wondered what she was doing. Was she fighting for her released? It's already been…two weeks? Maybe more? She sighed. Not having anything to base the passing days on was starting to mess with her mind. (But maybe that was a good thing? Zigzag wasn't clearly all there and he seemed to know what day it was should anyone ask.) Well, it was that and Pendanski constantly dangling hope in front of her face. "I'm sure today's the day. Everything will be sorted out and you can be on your merry way. Don't worry."

She couldn't help but wonder if her mom was thinking the same thing. Maybe finding a way to appeal her sentence and reducing it a little. Sure, it was assault but…she was a first timer. Surely they could've gone a _little _easy on her, considering the circumstances…

She frowned. Or maybe she was upset instead? Ashamed even. When it was revealed that Squid was sent to Camp Green Lake she shook her head and a disapproving smile was plastered to her face. In fact, Mickey almost swore she heard her mother mutter "good riddance" beneath her breath but she didn't press it. The news was a shock to their community—well, not entirely if she were to be honest. Their entire neighborhood knew who was behind the string of robberies but it was hard to pin the group down without physical evidence. Until that fateful day.

She remembered getting a call from him, from jail. It shocked her, that after everything he had still called her. That she was his "One Phone call". His voice sounded small on the line, not caked in that bravado he was used to slinging around the halls. He was blubbering about something, saying that his mother was going to kill him and that everything was a big mistake. She tried to get more out of him but he was cut off. And then when she tried to get her mom to take her down to the police station—her father was out of town for the week—she refused. And the next thing she knew he was shipped off to Camp Green Lake.

She didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He dug a few holes away from her. His jumpsuit had long been shed, his yellow t-shirt being the only thing that kept his upper-body from burning. His shovel strokes were one fluid movement, graceful even. His face contorted with every scoop, lift, and toss of his shovel and every now and then he'd pause, spit, and continue digging.

She gripped her shovel and stabbed at the dirt again. Maybe it was good she didn't say goodbye. It would only make the pain of treading over the broken pieces of their friendship hurt worse. The time that had passed toughened her soles.

**_# # #_**

"You're spilling some," Eagle said.

Mickey blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Well, it's kinda hard squeezing sugar into this little thing," she replied, her words curt. Eagle merely chuckled in return as he pulled apart another capsule. He carefully dumped the contents inside into a trashcan and handed the two empty halves over to her. As he opened a few more she poured a small amount of sugar into one half of the empty capsules and then closed it to set it aside.

They had been working on altering the painkillers ever since she got back from digging her hole that day. Once he was finished digging he had waited by her hole, as he always did once she divulged the news of her harassment. "Just in case" he said when she tried to protest; something about the gravity in his voice stopped her and made her accept his help. That didn't go over well with her tent, of course, but she did her best to ignore the comments about her "boyfriend".

"How many do we need?" he asked, breaking another one open.

Mickey peered over at the small pile they had created and hummed. "A few more. We don't want to change all of them. They're not going to notice a difference."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eagle asked.

"Well, considering we're already in the middle of it…"

"I mean…you could get into more trouble if you're caught."

Mickey hummed. "The Warden gave me these to help with my time of month. Not to make things easier on me, like the others think. I may be giving them to X-Ray but _he's_ the one supplying them to the other campers. If they get caught, well…they're not going to squeal, are they? They may go back to X-Ray but even then _he_ won't say anything either. Because they trusted him but then he got his supply from someone else. X-Ray talks big; he's not going to admit that he's not behind this whole thing."

"But it's a big risk," Eagle pointed out.

Mickey paused briefly in her work but then she kept going. Of course she knew it was a big risk, but how else was she going to get them to leave her alone? Doing nothing wasn't doing her any good and she wasn't just going to lie on her back for them. Not anymore. Maybe it was a bit rash but she learned from the best.

"Oh well," she muttered with a light shrug, ignoring the knot that began to tie in her stomach.

The two went back to work in silence. Every now and then she'd check over her shoulder to be sure a guard wasn't coming in, or another camper. They did have a little bit of protection due to being assigned to work in the kitchens but if the wrong person came in at the wrong time… She gave her head a shake, forcing her nerves to calm. They were fine. This would work.

Once finished they put all their supplies back where they got it, Mickey shoved the container of pills into one of her large pockets, and they went back to preparing dinner for the day: mystery meat and not-too-expired beans. Thankfully the supply truck was coming soon, maybe even the next day. They'd only have to choke down one more unsavory meal before they could get something somewhat edible.

"Alright, I think that's everything," Eagle finally announced, tapping the large ladle against the side of the tall pot. "We can leave everything covered. Great, this gives us time to hit up the Wreck Room."

"I don't think I can hear the Backstreet Boys one more time," Mickey sighed, wiping excess food off her hands.

"They're not your cup of tea?" Eagle asked with a teasing grin.

"I'm an *NSYNC girl, for one," she said, throwing the dirty cloth at him. He caught it, balled it up, and tossed it into the nearby sink. "And I'm fine with them; it's just hearing the same song over and over again. It's enough to drive anyone batty."

"Yeah, well, Thlump likes it so…"

Mickey nodded. In B-Tent, Thlump was like X-Ray only bigger, taller, and more prone to solve his problems with his fists. Everyone in B-Tent answered to him. She constantly breathed a sigh of relief not to be stuck in a tent with him like she was supposed to be. Who knew what he'd do to her when her back was turned? Hell, who knew what he'd do to her in front of her face?

"Ready to go?"

"I can go to the Wreck Room myself," Mickey stated.

Eagle made a face and rocked back and forth on his heels. Mickey felt a chill roll down her spine. She didn't like that look on his face. "What?" she asked in apprehension.

"It's just…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "You didn't hear what they were saying. About you. B-Tent, I mean. I just…I don't think it's a good idea you going yourself."

She swallowed the lump (no pun intended) that formed in her throat and let out a shaky breath. "What were they saying?"

He shook his head. "Oh no, I'm not telling you."

"Eagle, c'mon."

"No! You don't need to hear it and I don't want to repeat it," he said firmly. "So let's just go, okay?"

Her mouth twisted to the side and she huffed only for her mind to scream at her to get a grip and be thankful that someone like him was there. _He doesn't have to help you. He could leave you to the rest of the camp but he's not. Shut up and be grateful. He's the only one you can trust after all._

The Wreck Room was loud with chatter, smacking pool balls, and the stereo blasting in the corner. As the two made their way through the room Mickey kept her eyes to the floor and her jaw clenched. She jumped when she felt a pool stick smack her across the backside which was followed by a very insincere "Oops! My bad! I didn't see you!" A round of high fives then sounded by her ears. Her fingers curled into fists at the loud sound of laughter bursting from the boys around the pool table. A shrill whistle cut through all the noise.

Mickey felt her muscles tense and her stomach drop at the sound. She glanced over to the area that B-Tent commandeered and flinched beneath their leering eyes. Thlump's lip twitched in the corner but then his eyes shifted over to Eagle and he lifted his chin in one, sharp beckoning motion.

"Sorry, I have to—"

"I get it," Mickey interrupted him. "I'll see you later.

Eagle nodded and went off to join his tent. Mickey made a beeline for where Caveman was sitting on the couch, a box of stationary in his hands. She nodded at him and dropped down on the seat next to him, careful to avoid the spring that popped out of it. She had just drawn her knees up to her chest in an effort to become smaller when she heard the distinct sound of a throat clearing. She knew it was X-Ray just from the way goosebumps rose on her arms.

She lowered her legs and made to stand when the Wreck Room door flung open. All at once the campers straightened up and took on "natural" poses as Pendanski sauntered in through the door, a big smile on his face as always. He called out random names while holding pieces of mail above his head. He moved around the room, greeting campers along the way with pats on the arm and genial smiles. He stopped by the couch and handed Caveman a letter. Just when she thought he was going to move on he used his finger to flip through a few more envelopes and stopped on one.

"Well, well! Look who finally got some mail," he commented, holding it out to her. Her eyes widened. She recognized her mother's handwriting on the envelope, her name written in big, loopy letters. _Mom!_ Her fingers barely brushed against the letter when Pendanski pulled it back. "Now…there's going to be no more complaints, right?" he asked; is sharp words squeezed out between the spaces of his frozen smile. "_Right?"_

She gaped at him. Did he really still think she was overreacting? That she had asked for him to come into their tent and hold her down? That she _wanted_ him to invade her personal space. She opened her mouth, ready to retort but one look at his cold, hard eyes made them die on her tongue. She sighed. "R…right," Mickey replied, averting her gaze. She snatched the letter out of his hand and hastily dug her finger beneath the flap.

She grasped onto the folded paper and yanked it out, her fingers trembling at the rush of emotions that spread through her. But before she opened the letter a fluttering caught her eye. Lowering her arms, she leaned forward and saw another piece of paper on the dusty floor. She picked it up and felt her stomach give a painful lurch when she saw _Alan_ written on the front of the folded paper in her mother's handwriting.

"What is it?" Caveman asked, peering at the side of her face. "Is…is everything okay?"

"Yeah." She leaned back against the cushion and stared at the second letter in her hand. "It's just…my mom. She wrote to Squid."

"Oh." The simple word held a weight that crushed her chest and made it difficult for her to breathe. "Are you going to give it to him?"

Her eyes flickered back and forth between the letter and Squid's face where he sat at a table, playing cards with X-Ray, Magnet, and Armpit. A smile burst onto his face as he dropped his cards and pulled the shower tokens in the middle of it towards him. He rolled a toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other and stuck his tongue out at the others as he counted his coins.

She folded up his letter and stuck it in her pocket.


End file.
